“Required Me To Pretend To Be A Shark”: 25 Unbelievable Auditioning Tales

Applying for any job comes with preparation, skill and execution. Turning up on time, learning to read the room so you deliver on the interviewer’s expectations, managing your own emotions are all part of the package too. When it comes to casting of acting roles, the requirements are no different. 

#1

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Auditioning in Hollywood is wild. I did a monologue, and they said, ‘Now do it like you just found out you’re a vampire.’ Sir, this is a car insurance commercial.

#2

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I did a short drama in Bangkok last summer where I cheated on my husband with a werewolf & when he came back from his business trip — had to explain to him why we had 6 new pups lol

#3

Image source: Acting_Normally, KamranAydinov / freepik

I was once asked to mime riding a moped whilst trying to escape from a big blob of goo for a Coke commercial that ended up never airing

#4

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I did a commercial 24 years ago where the Director said “dance like a witch”
Me -I don’t know what that means
Director- repeats “dance like a witch” with no further clarification other than a bit of gesticulation and extra inflection on “witch”
Me- “which sort of witch would you prefer” and begin infodumping historical information about witches. He became annoyed with me and snapped
“Witches arent real. I want you to dance like a Halloween witch”

Anyway, commercials aren’t for me.

#5

Image source: yasminealfakey, freepik

In 2022 i had an audition that required me to pretend to be a shark… after 7 years of acting that was my last audition lol

#6

Image source: cutearmy, Getty Images / unsplash

My very first audition. I sang my 2 songs thanked them and left.

I got a nasty scathing Emil about how dare I waste their time with my horrible voice and don’t come back because I have been blacklisted.

I have seen been in 2 operas and 3 operettas with other companies. It has been over 20 years but I will never work with them

#7

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My first show the director made a big deal about doing something to stand out and make the scene our own during his intro speech, then gave us a script for the reading where a character drinks a potion and gains superstrength.

Auditions were held in a classroom, so I had the idea to pick up a chair to demonstrate the superstrength. I practiced beforehand, it was all good, but during the actual thing, I uh. I dropped the chair.

I only got a tiny part, but I later became friends with the student director and they told me that was one of the main reasons I got cast at all, so, it kind of worked?

#8

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I did a monolouge about a person who was upset with the idea that they weren’t grieving the loss of their parent in a traditional sense, but they asked me to do it again but like how an insanely happy person would say it. Auditioners ask you to do this to see if you’re capable of adapting your style to their vision not because they want you to be a vampire (or maybe they do in specific cases lol).

#9

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I once sang a charming little up tempo jazz song, and the director said, “Sing it again, but this time I want you to imagine that your significant other is a soldier at war…and you just found out they died in combat.”

#10

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Before the interview, someone asked for feet photos and asked if I was ticklish. So there was no audition.

#11

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I once had a casting director say to me, “you’re a dude!?” In front of the director and everyone else in the room LOL. At the time it was a bit embarrassing, I know I look androgynous and it caught me off guard but a casting director making that mistake, pretty unreal!

#12

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I was only ever in one show, many many years ago.

I went to a small 2-year college. I was in choir, just for fun. One day the head of the theater department came in and said they had decided to do The Pirates of Penzance for their fall production. Since the theater department was very small and it was more musically difficult than the musicals they had done before, they weren’t sure if the theater kids were strong enough singers to pull it off, so they were asking if any of us wanted to audition. He said he didn’t care if we could dance or act, they just needed singers to round out the chorus.

I certainly can’t act and can’t dance, but I had the time and I love the theater, so I decided to go to tryouts. For whatever reason (I don’t know how these things work, but I thought I would only need to sing to try out for the chorus), they wanted everyone to do every part of the tryouts, including learning a simple tap routine that the policemen were going to do at one point. I did so badly at it I fell over right at the edge of the stage, and managed to fall off the stage as I tried to get back up. I was still allowed to play one of the bevy of daughters. It was a wonderful experience, but never again.

#13

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I did a commercial audition where I had to dance, and I split my pants. I honestly wasn’t that embarassed and thought it was funny. I did not get the part.

#14

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In ninth grade, I auditioned for How to Succeed with my high school. I minimally practiced, didn’t know anyone, and showed up on crutches (I have arthritis and couldn’t properly walk at the time). Some timer went off on my phone halfway through my song. I turned it off and tried again, but was in tears as a very anxious high school freshman. I was awful. The director came out to speak to the auditioners and told us dance auditions would be the next day. I walked out and called my dad to pick me up, devastated that I couldn’t even finish my audition because I couldn’t walk, much less dance.

Five years later, I’m playing Hotspur in my college’s (obviously non-musical) production of Henry IV part 1! It’s my first non-tech part and I’m overjoyed (especially because it’s Shakespeare!) Many of my castmates are also disabled and our director has been careful to check in with us and make sure we don’t overdo it. I’ve never felt so seen & respected!

If your first audition is shit, don’t sweat it. It’ll get better!

#15

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In mid-February of my first pilot season, I had seven auditions of 10+ pages in a week. It had been supposed to be six, but one was added last minute. I didn’t have time to see a coach or really prepare much at all and had no familiarity with the creative team’s previous work. But in doing a quick breakdown the night before without paying any attention to the actual breakdown, I saw all the structural elements of a single camera comedy. Nope. It was heavy drama albeit with a fairly ridiculous logline. I also found out from my frantic agent’s assistant that I had been told to prepare the wrong character while I was on the way to Burbank from my previous audition in Culver City. I should have canceled right then and there, but decided to give it a go anyway – with bold, broad comedic choices since by my interpretation, this was an “In her own universe” type character as opposed to the “logical smart one/straight girl” I had prepared. To make matters worse, the would-be showrunner was right there in the room. When it was over, the casting director just had a blank stare and the reader was obviously having a hard time not doubling over laughing. The showrunner? Who thought I had just made fun of his script? Rarely have I seen eyes that cold … No notes, no redirect, no nothing. Just “bub bye.” Newbies today bitching about last minute self-tapes … And no, that show did not get picked up.

#16

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I had a callback for Elle for a university production of Legally Blonde. I can’t belt for s**t and the callback song was “So Much Better,” and I pushed my voice the whole time unsuccessfully and sounded AWFUL. Don’t remember if I laughed or cried when I got home. I managed to get cast as a smaller role that I’d done before. Later one of the people on the casting panel that I was acquaintances with told me, “you were the best actor there but we were SO disappointed in your singing. We almost didn’t give you a part.”

#17

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In New York, I was running late for the audition that was several long blocks away from the nearest train line. The subway had stalled so I ran up the stairs, grabbed a Citibike (I joined the bike share for this very reason), pedaled into the wind for several blocks, and the closest return rack that was still a couple blocks away had one “available” bike dock, but it had a cover on it that said “OUT OF ORDER”. The next nearest rack was several blocks in the wrong direction. If I left it unaccompanied and it was taken, I’d be held financially responsible for the bike. Considered taking it with me into the office, but decided to take a chance, pulled off the out of order cover on the rack and left the bike there, hoping it would still be there when I got back. I ran across the street and down the block, down the hall and up two flights of stairs, by this time sweating and out of breath. I was already 5 minutes late, so I logged into the sign in sheet, figuring I’d have a minute to catch my breath, center myself, and go over my sides. Nope. Before my butt hit the chair, my name was called. I walked in, trying to remember the scene, realizing I didn’t have my sides with me, and auditioned like a frazzled yet stiff plank of wood. The audition felt so lousy, after I left I walked into the men’s room to splash water on my face….and realized from the people at the sinks I was in the ladies’ room. One of my worst auditions.

The bike was still there when I got back. And I booked the part.

#18

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As someone who’s been on the judging side of auditions probably over 100 times, I’ll say that almost nobody’s audition is as bad as they think. I understand that people are nervous, that their song might be hurriedly practiced, that you might not have gotten an ideal warmup, etc. While you might be mortified at a lyric flub, I probably shrug it off.

The actual terrible auditions tend to come from people who are not self aware and thus wouldn’t answer a question like this. Either people who think they’re awesome but are terrible, or people who present themselves in bizarre ways. Like dressing wildly inappropriately, saying weird things, or singing way out of genre. And I don’t mean singing classic broadway for a rock musical, I mean like singing something from the 16th century.

#19

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So, it wasn’t that terrible, but super freaking awkward.

I auditioned to play adult Alison in a community theatre production of Fun Home, and had no idea what to sing. Because, honestly, I can’t think of a single other piece of music, nevermind a musical of the same type and vocal range, sung by a butch lesbian. All my go-to audition songs were either way too sultry-alto, or made me sound like a Disney princess going into straight girl voice.

So I googled “best audition songs Fun Home”, and picked “Safer” from First Date the musical, because it was at least in the right range and I could butch it up in the delivery. I’ve never even seen First Date the musical, I was desperate.

I then arrived to the audition, and they were all like “Oh I’ve never seen First Date the Musical, is it good?” and I had to abashedly admit that I’d never seen it either.

Then, the other woman to audition for Alison showed up, and also sang Safer from First Date the musical, I’m assuming for the exact same reason.

#20

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One time I had been sick and chugged a Gatorade before the audition. I think I got extra hyped up for the audition and the CD literally asked me if I was drunk! (Which I wasn’t, I was just hyper and nervous!)

#21

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Group audition for community theatre. MD gave us sheet music to teach us a song and split the women into sopranos and altos by LITERALLY SPLITTING THE GROUP DOWN THE MIDDLE with me ending up with the “sopranos”. When I said I was an alto and couldn’t sing this part because it was really high soprano, they said “don’t worry it’ll be fine”. It was not fine. Mouthed the entire song, and didn’t get in.

#22

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I actually had one more. I auditioned for a very popular sit com in which 2 middle aged actresses were playing twenty-somethings. I got through the casting director, the director, the producers and even the studio! I had my dream car picked out and was looking at apartment listings. Then came the final audition: videotaped with the actresses. I should point out that I was 23 and was still getting carded as I looked like I was 17. One actress walked out on stage and just started giggling. She put her arm around my shoulder and said “Sorry, kid.” The 9ther walked on stage, took one look at me and screeched “Are you fucking kidding me? He could play my son!” And walked off. Once again, I didn’t get the job.

#23

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I have actually peed myself during a Christmas carol. I developed a bladder issue a week before tech. I also wore a dress. So that was delightful. Body malfunctions on stage are a gateway to less stage fright that’s one thing I can say with absolute certainty

#24

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I wanted to try something new and auditioned for an improv theater show where we were gonna engage with the audience and everything. as soon as i walked into the room things went👎🏽 i wore platform dr martens and the heel part got caught and made me trip over this step (which you had to go down to get to the stage) in front of the ppl watching my audition they were like “oop!” then i messed up my monologue but kept going and then they put a chair in front of me and asked me to say my monologue to it. i hope the chair got my passionate message

#25

Image source: sOcCeRQueen21, freepik

This wasn’t in an audition room, but —

I had a self-tape where my character was defiantly chopping her hair to prove a point. I had blocked it where I was miming it of course – using the scissors to chop several inches in front of my hair, clear out of the way.

On one of the takes, I got too close to my hair and chopped it clear down the middle, a huge chunk. And now I have a video of it to laugh/cry at forever.