25 Subtle Signs Of Mental Health Struggle That Are Often Overlooked

Mental health can be a sensitive issue to deal with. Each person reacts differently according to their respective struggles. Different people also exhibit various early warning signs when caught in the throes of a mental breakdown. Unfortunately, many people find it difficult to reach out for help, let alone recognize that they are struggling.  This is why it’s important for everyone to be aware of the subtle signs that indicate someone may be going through something. Scroll below to check out the little signs of a mental health struggle that are most often ignored, according to Redditors. Who knows, it may even save the life of a loved one.

#1 As Robin Williams once said: I think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless and they don’t want anyone else to feel like that.

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#2 Look for the guy that is constantly doing things for other people. This guy is super nice. He goes out of his way to make others happy. He is a good listener. He gives really good advice. He picks others up when they are down.

And that guy…… that guy right there…… is really….. really….. struggling.

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#3 At least in men, social withdrawal is often the first and largest symptom of depression. We can put up a really good facade, but if you notice one of the boys not showing up to social functions as much, and no one is hearing from him, check in on him for f***s sake.

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#4 Thoughtlessness, when I was in a deeeep depression and a few other smaller episodes I am under such a black cloud and demented headspace that I’ll forget birthdays, plans, leaving things out, things like that.

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#5 Joking masks pain.

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Wetness_Protection:

Joking is such a strong indication and I know because I do it. I struggle with a lot of childhood trauma and have very little understanding of how to form meaningful relationships as a result. Whenever I’m in social settings I constantly joke around. Silly puns, crude humor, whatever I can do to get a laugh. It keeps us from being vulnerable with others while seeming ok on the surface. But I have to fight the impulse to make a bad joke or do something silly when my wife goes in for a hug. I’ve started noticing just how bad it is lately but it’s so hard to stop once that becomes your mask.

#6 During my worst depressive relapses, I would constantly ask how people were doing. If someone you know is constantly asking everyone how they’re doing/if they’re okay with little to no reason to why they ask, please ask it back. I was on the verge of s*icide many times in the past and all I could ever do was reach out, ask if someone was okay, and that I love them. I was never asked it back. It’s a miracle that I’m still here.

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#7 Someone who is always stressed out, on edge, and irritable is suddently calm, nonchalant, and doesn’t care about c**p anymore. Check on this person. Maybe they got a girlfriend/boyfriend or a big promotion or finished a huge project. But also – maybe they’ve given up and have an *exit plan* in place now.

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#8 Having trouble getting out of bed, having low energy. Many people are quick to call it lazy but really we are struggling to have any energy to just wake up and exist in a world where life hasn’t been kind.

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#9 When, without major shifts in their life, they suddenly become too busy to do things they used to attend to regularly. Such as hobbies or social appointments.

I went through a stretch of severe depression in my early twenties and did this constantly. When people asked why I wasn’t around as much, I’d just tell them I was busy. What I was busy doing was wallowing around in my apartment being absolutely miserable. An ex of mine actually caught it and convinced me to try a therapist which wound up being my first step climbing out of that hole, and it took several years.

More than a decade later I noticed a similar behavioral trend happen with one of my colleagues. Great guy, kind of the office clown. Always used to be very engaged with people and was a fixture at happy hours and other things we’d all get together and do. Until he suddenly wasn’t. I tried not to press but eventually did. He broke down and told me he’d been diagnosed with cancer and didn’t want people to know.

This stuff is difficult. We’re all conditioned to hide our hurt. And people can be really good at it.

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#10 Keeping conversations very surface-level.

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Constantly redirecting the conversation to be about the other person/people to keep from talking about themselves.

Answering questions with very basic answers and immediately redirecting away to something else.

I guess the silver lining here is that we aren’t alone in feeling this way. I hope each of you start to find things that make you happy and can climb out of whatever hole you find yourself in. And I hope I can, too. We can do this.

#11 They don’t have the same excitement about things they used to really enjoy.

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#12 Somebody who’s always tired. Especially for high functioning depressives, their home and workspace can be neat and tidy, their bills are paid on time and they are cordial when socializing. But they will always say they are tired. Depression exhaustion runs deep.

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#13 Whenever you ask them how they’re doing, the answer is *always* ‘ok’ or ‘I’m fine, just a bit tired.”

Everyone has sh**tier days. Everyone will rant once in a while. But not when depressed.
You don’t want to be even more of a burden than you feel you already are. You don’t want to admit to yourself or to others or to both that you are actually struggling with everyday things. You don’t want to always be complaining. You don’t want to look like a failure. You don’t believe the question is asked in earnest; why should anyone care anyway? Or you simply feel nothing, but that’s not exactly an acceptable answer now, is it.

So ‘ok’ it is.

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#14 Giving things away. Especially important and meaningful pieces.

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#15 A sudden change in weight, both losing or gaining some.

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#16 When someone has struggled and things suddenly seem better overnight, despite there being no known reason for the change.

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So you stop worrying about them. They’re better now.

You don’t realize that it’s because they made a plan.

You don’t realize that until it’s too late.

#17 Common disassociation, just seeing someone disconnect from reality white sitting at a bench or in a friend group just breaks my heart.

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#18 Everything takes forever. I take hours to reply to texts, hours to get out of bed, hours to go to the store.

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#19 In a social encounter where all others are sharing their troubles, they stay silent and distant. They never mention anything wrong and when asked directly they play their answers into a corner. Sure, it may just be them doing ok, but it also could be not seeing their problems as worth the attention of others, a common depression situation.

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#20 Speaking from my own personal experience:

– decline in work ethic
– poor hygiene/cleanliness
– irritable
– if you have a roommate: hiding in their room
– bad acne
– sleeping a lot
– poor communication
– more negative than usual
– lack of interest in their favorite things/hobbies.

Image source: FlatlineDirection

#21 Messy/dirty house. Not all people with messy houses are mentally ill, but if the state of a friend’s house is continuously deteriorating and /or simple tasks (like throwing away cans) are left undone, it’s a big sign. Sometimes someone who is struggling will clean the fridge and wash clothes but be unable to throw away mail, or pick up trash. It’s hard to explain.

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#22 I struggle with major depression. I can answer this for myself, but as always, this won’t appear in everyone.

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1. I use humor a lot. Like every conversation. It’s a quick shot of dopamine to make people laugh and it avoids talking about myself. Kills two birds with one stone. My therapist said one time after not seeing him for six months “I see you are still using humor as a way to not feel your emotions.” Haha. F**k you.

2. I am purposely vague on what I’ve been doing. Like “oh I’ve been working and hanging with the kids.” Or “nothing much just the same old s**t.” This can be easily interpreted as “I’ve been holed up in my room not showering, maybe crying, convincing myself that everyone hates me.”

3. Random outbursts of negativity. Sometimes veiled as jokes. I recently blurted out to my sister while driving “nobody has any empathy anymore!” At a driver. It made people laugh.

3. I constantly make excuses on why I can’t go somewhere. It’s usually because I’m tired, or busy with the kids, but in reality I’m avoiding having to give an update on my (distorted view) s****y little life while everyone talks how amazing everything is.

There are others but these were the first I could think of.

Edit: If anyone feels the same as this feel free to send me a message. I’ve learned that getting through it with someone can be extremely helpful. (Males preferably. I need more guy friends.).

 

#23 Hygiene is a huge one, noticing they only ever have their hair up, or rumpled clothing, if they normally wear makeup and suddenly stop for no reason. People normally notice when it gets to not showering but it can be in small ways.

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#24 Constant anger.

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YetAnotherDev:

Typical, yet often unknown, symptome for depression in men.

#25 You haven’t heard from them in six months. But your ego says that you shouldn’t contact them because they didn’t contact you.

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