25 Times Parent’s Picking A Favourite Child Drastically Backfired On Them
As much as we would like to think our parents love us equally, the truth is that there was more than likely a favoured child in the family. If you happened to be the non-favourite child, then you know how differently parents treated you in comparison to the golden child who could seemingly do no wrong. All the transgressions of the favourite child were minor and forgiven immediately with barely any consequences from their doting parents, even if it ultimately turned out to be a disservice to the child. Below, we’ve shared a list of stories found on the ‘Ask Reddit’ community from siblings of the ‘golden children’ on how that turned out in the long run for the family and the child in question themselves.
#1
She died in a one car drunk driving accident. She was the drunk driver.
Responsible-Onion860:
This happened to another family at my elementary school. One of my classmate’s older brother was the golden child, not just in his family but in the school. One weekend when he was 17, he got drunk and crashed his car, k**ling himself and a passenger and causing a third occupant to be disabled for life (he recently passed away, about 15 years after the crash). Everyone got real quiet about the golden boy, even though the tragedy was very foreseeable and preventable.
#2
Image source: heyhermano23, DC Studio
My brother. Grew up to be a malignant narcissist himself and my mom favoured him and supported his bad behaviour – gave him money and never made him accountable to making good choices. He moved into the home my parents owned and was awful to live with but she never would let my dad kick him out. My mom’s health declined over the last few years and my dad was her main caretaker until his dementia became too progressed and he was placed in a long term care home…. Leaving my mom to rely solely on my brother to take care of her.
It lasted 6 months. She ended up falling and breaking her hip in October because of course he did nothing to help her. She died a month later in the hospital, alone and in pain.
#3
My little brother was always treated better. Vacations, hobbies, vehicles, gifts. He was a spoiled brat. I didn’t find out til later that my dad wasn’t my bio dad. This definitely put things in perspective once I found out.
Growing up, I had a huge gap between my two front teeth. When my adult teeth came in, it got bigger. My parents always said they didn’t have the money to fix it. But when my brother wanted to become a bull rider, they suddenly had thousands of dollars for lessons, gear, and travel expenses. I guessed they spent close to $40,000 the first 2 years he was doing it. Meanwhile, I just wanted braces. The cost of the braces was going to be about $2500. He also got a brand new truck when he turned 16. I had gotten a busted up conversion van that barely ran and wasn’t safe to drive.
It all bit them in the a*s when my brother got a DUI in Texas. Texas does not f**k around. My parents suddenly couldn’t buy his way out of trouble. He did 3 weeks in county jail for it. 6 months after he gets out, he gets pulled over again, and this time gets a DUI, littering, evading police, and hefty speeding ticket. Someone from our city found out and blasted it all over facebook. My parents told me not to talk about it, and boy, did I ignore that. They spent thousands in legal fees, and their reputation was ruined. I laughed in their faces and told them what fun it must be to have such a wonderful child.
#4
Mine is the extreme version. Basically I am the by product of my mom’s failed second marriage. She filed for divorce right after I was born and honestly she had no business being a mom because she was very mentally ill, just no official diagnosis. My grandparents even tried to get her to give up custody so they could adopt me.
She went on to husband number 3 that would also be husband number 5 later in life. He was my stepdad my whole life and I actually didn’t know he wasn’t my bio dad until they briefly divorced and my mom screamed at me over it.
They had a son. My mom threw everything into my brother and into trying to be accepted into my step Dad’s family. The catch is none of them saw me as anything more than unwanted leftovers from her past. They never wanted me around and made it really f*****g clear I wasn’t wanted.
This escalated into my mom neglecting me, and from there it turned into her physically and mentally abusing me. Which opened the door for my stepdad to get away with physically abusing me too. I was made to clean the whole house for them, including their bedrooms and bathrooms.
Meanwhile my little brother is being raised as a prince. His paternal family shower him with gifts and trips. At home he’s never punished or yelled at. And my parents never tell him no if he wants something. He’s watching how I get treated and starts to join in. At first it’s lying to get me in trouble or stealing my things and lying to keep them or breaking my stuff to make me upset. Eventually he gets bigger than me and starts hitting me too.
This whole time I’m not allowed a birthday party, friends, I’m not given regular medical care or dental visits, hell by the time I was in junior high my mom quit buying me clothes or even a tooth brush. I was getting hand me down clothes from friends.
It started to backfire pretty quickly on my parents. My brother thought he was the center of the universe and was used to getting violent when he didn’t get his way. He also got into drinking and d***s by the time he was in junior high. He started skipping school. He was arrested for a*****t and d***s. My parents went deep into debt paying his court fees and still buying him whatever he wanted.
I joined the military and got as far away as I could. My brother did not. He had to be a super senior to get his diploma and was living my parents partying and draining their bank accounts well into his 20s. They lost their original house to debt and they were renting a place for awhile. But with no one to clean up after any of them anymore, they got kicked out of their house for being disgusting.
My brother decided he needed greener pastures so he moved hundreds of miles away but still had them paying his bills. He’s almost 40 now and that just stopped because my mom died and my stepdad can’t afford anything. My stepdad is now alone hundreds of miles from the only kid he ever cared about and no one to help take care of him.
Meanwhile I got married to a great guy 20 years ago and had two awesome kids. We have our own home well away from that mess. I’ve been in therapy for a few years trying to get over the childhood trauma and I’m doing good.
Image source: Silaquix
#5
Image source: butwhatsmyname, freepik
I’ve got a late-in-life-miracle-baby-only-child cousin who has had an interesting time of this.
Wealthy family, long-awaited baby, he was given top of the line consoles and computers from the age of three, a bedroom and a playroom – which was so full of toys by the time he started preschool that his parents had to ask everyone to stop sending him toys as gifts…
… because he was bought a gift _every single time_ they went anywhere. His mom was just incapable of saying no to her little prince. Every trip to the shoe shop or the supermarket was another new toy.
He just never had to do _anything_ that he didn’t want to do.
Forget about chores and homework. When he wanted to sit up all night playing WoW and sleep through the school day because he ‘didn’t feel well’ that was fine. His parents would throw money at literally anything he showed any interest in. He played a snowboarding videogame for a while so they bought him full skiing and snowboarding gear and they all flew out to the slopes several times… where he sat in the lodge playing videogames on his laptop. They kitted him out with everything you could dream of for a couple of martial arts, golf, a few musical instruments, probably a bunch of other stuff I never heard about. But he knew he was destined to be a professional gamer, so why would he bother with anything else? Gaming was his ticket to fame and glory.
How did all this play out? it turns out that if you do that through most of your teens… you fail out of school at 16 no matter how unbelievably smart your mom thinks you are.
He’s 25 now, still at home, and to the best of my knowledge he still hasn’t completed his high school diploma or any equivalent studies. He’s never held down a job, and hasn’t completed any of the apprenticeships or placements that his parents have organised for him over the years.
His mom still does everything for him, but he’s f*****g miserable. He’s distraught. He doesn’t know anything. He isn’t good at anything. He can’t _do_ anything. He’s got no friends – everyone he was friendly with went off to university, got jobs, are starting to settle down with partners, or travel the world. They’re off living their adult lives and he’s at home with his mom making his lunch for him every day.
#6
Image source: AuntieKitKat, shurkin_son
My brother was the golden child. Youngest, only boy that my mother was so desperate to have. And honestly, he’s great. Respectful, kind, happy. He just got married and my mother HATES his wife. So now, after some comments that she really can’t walk back, my mom is low contact with my brother and it’s driving her absolutely insane.
#7
Image source: Unhappy_Flamingo4796, EyeEm
My younger brother was the golden child. I always got treated way worse. He’s doing fine, I think. But it came back to bite them in the a*s when I realized how s****y they treated me and how s****y they still treat me. So I cut them off for my mental health. My nightmares stopped and they don’t have to pretend they give a s**t about me. So a win for both of us I guess. But sadly my mother doesn’t get to have a relationship with her grandchild, which I think bothers her the most.
#8
My older brother was the golden child, and not just with my parents but also my grandparents. He got everything he wanted growing up, while I wore hand-me-downs and clothes from yard sales. He went to Disney 3x, the Grand Canyon, and so many cool vacation places. I was never invited. He would get a new 4-wheeler or guitar for Christmas and I’d get used toys from yard sales that were intended for someone much less younger than me. I remember asking for a computer in middle school and receiving one of those little Leap Frog toys instead..
He had some mental issues, what my mother referred to as a chemical imbalance to excuse his behaviors. Choked me until I blacked out on the sidewalk outside our house, kicked down my door, would twist PS controllers and break them if he lost a game to me.
He ended up being held back 3 years in school, made my life in high school a living hell, and thankfully moved out when he was 18. He turned out to be an alcoholic, married a j****e, and I haven’t seen him in years (I didn’t want any part in having his wife around my children). My mom struggles to pay her own bills after paying his. My dad became disabled a few years ago after a stroke while he had Covid, so he’s not working. He was denied benefits because someone claimed unemployment using his identity throughout the pandemic while he was actively working.
My parents have asked me for financial help and I’ve turned them away. We have little to no relationship now. I finally went on my first ever vacation with my children and partner at the age of 35..
Image source: NoodleSpooner
#9
Image source: Smlovers, freepik
My dad depleted his entire retirement fund to bail my brother out of jail and then pay the legal fees to keep him from going to prison. My brother now has nothing to do with them (or anyone but the sibs all cut him off years ago), is currently ducking the law on fraud charges, and my parents are living hand to mouth blaming bros wife for all his issues in life. Because apparently, there is no possible way it could be his fault.
#10
Image source: BerriesLafontaine, freepik
My sister was the golden child. She also has mental issues (could function as a perfectly regular adult if they hadn’t coddled her so much).
My mom has passed, but she lives with my dad. Recently, she tried to burn his house down, sold his truck, stolen all of his money, and beat the s**t out of him.
I live out of state, so I called APS about her b******t. Called him and told him to let them help him. He just told me, “Well, maybe you’re wrong.” And told the SUPER sweet APS lady that everything was fine.
I washed my hands of it. I’m expecting a call within the next few years letting me know that she has k****d him. The whole family just turns a blind eye to everything she does.
We used to be a really close-knit lower middle-class family. Now everyone is bankrupt and on d***s. I wish I could say I was being dramatic when I say every. Single. Instance. Of these issues can be traced back to my sister.
I gtfo of there and will never go back.
#11
Image source: packersfan232, freeepik
Once I got old enough to realize I refused to tolerate it anymore and cut off contact with my mom completely after almost 40 years of her favoring and coddling my older brother. She now has no contact with me, my husband, or her only two grandchildren. My older, 42 year old brother lives with her STILL, and he’s all she has. Cherry on top? He’s just as narcissistic as she is, and only cares about himself. She lost the one child she had that actually cared about her, (me), and now won’t ever see or speak to her grandchildren again. All because she refuses to admit that she’s not perfect, and could have done things differently. Of course I’m the villain though, right?! 🤦♀️
#12
Image source: Crass_237, freeepik
My brother the Golden Child is now a 50 year old unemployed alcoholic. He never finished high school but was considered so much smarter and better looking than th other four of us. Mum blew so much smoke up his a**e he never achieved anything as he didn’t ever think he had to try. Completely poisoned his life.
#13
My parents always had a strong preference for my sister over me. They did their best to pave the way for her success. Even when it was harmful to me. They actually sued me for half of my income at one point because my sister deserved it more than me.
It turns out the symptoms that they believed were evedence of her brilliance were actually symptoms of her mental illnesses. She has been diagnosed with several. She is absolutely a non functional person on her best days a person who didn’t know her would instantly know she’s not right.
I’ve essentially gone low contact with my parents I see them on Christmas or Thanksgiving sometimes. I have allowed them to believe I’ve never been promoted, and I’ve been renting my house for 20+years.
We ended up at the same Christmas party. They have announced they are retiring soon they are selling their houses and going to Vegas to gamble their life saving away. When they win a couple million they are going to set up my sister and her kids for life. If they loose they plan to move in with me.
After making sure they were serious. I told them they in fact not be setting foot on my property. They would never come live with me.
They told me my landlord has already agreed to let them live there, if I have a problem he will evict me. I told them I don’t have a landlord. My mom was caught off guard. Sh told me not to be b***h and split hairs. “I knew she meant my banker had agreed to let them take over my house, by picking up payments”.
My dad’s youngest brother told them ” he had a mortgage burning party like 15 years ago.” ( I had an old fashioned party to celebrate paying off my house, I specifically didn’t invite my parents).
I told my mom that if her and my dad try to move in with me after pissing away their retirement savings I’m going to put them in a discount government ran nursing home that’s recently been in the news.
Image source: Odd_Interview_2005
#14
Image source: adhdknitter, EyeEm
My parents struggled with infertility and miscarriages before finally having my older brother. Their little miracle rainbow baby could do no wrong. My parents bailed him out of every situation he got himself into with absolutely no consequences. My moms reasoning was, he just tunes you out if you yell at him. So they never really disciplined him.
Eventually he bankrupted them. They gave him money to fix every problem and then he’d get himself into another. Stole money from them. My dad cosigned for his truck and my brother stopped paying the loan and it fell to my parents. They got so behind they almost lost their farm.
And me, the other kid. Oh yeah I fixed that for them. Got them out of their financial hole, made sure they didn’t lose their farm…the farm they recently wrote into their will that my brother gets when they die.
#15
Image source: MythOfLaur, freepik
My sister became a terrible human being and she is the only one to talk to my mom, mostly for free baby sitting. Before I went no contact with both, my mom was always complaining how mean my sister was to her and my sister would talk about how much she hated my mom. They deserve each other.
#16
Image source: EggandSpoon42, stefamerpik
Husband’s sister is the golden child. It bit his father in the a*s when she borrowed $200k to open a business and then became disinterested so it died, they are not wealthy and it f****d them financially for abt 10 years.
Don’t worry though, as soon as FIL recovered financially he bought her a house 🤣🤣 because she *can’t hold a job*
This life exercise has made super clear that sister will physically be taking care of them as they become feeble though, so win-win as far as we’re concerned.
#17
My sister became an alcoholic and a d**g a****t.I think the moment that really smacked my mom in the face was that when her mom died, she gave me nothing and my sister her pick of the family jewelry because “that kind of stuff means something to your sister.” My sister pawned it all, then ran off to be homeless so she could indulge her a*******n without criticism. She has been in and out of prison for the last decade, which was the only time we knew for sure she was alive.
But hey, she’s clean now. It will be different this time, my mother assures me, while sending her money and valuables like a laptop and brand new smartphone. I’m sure that’s not going to end in tears…
Image source: MorganaLeFaye
#18
My brother is the favourite one because he’s white skinned and more good looking. Typical asian thingy, if you must. I was also slow in development and in middle school, tested my IQ to be 80, so they kind of see me as a shame. I am a very late bloomer. My grandparents and parents prefers him. This is about my grandparents.
Being the more financially successful one while my brother struggles to find a job, I am responsible for putting the meals at the table. It’s somewhat their fault that he’s overly spoiled and lazy. Now, they are very conscious of their bad treatment in my younger days, so they are very careful not to offend me.
Once they pushed to make me send my brother to college so he can get a degree to get a job (I do not have a degree), I told them they can start asking him to pay for their living expenses because I am not shy not leave them homeless. I did so with my mother. She begged me to help her financially because she got dumped with a child by her new husband and I closed the door on her. I honestly have zero attachment to them due to the abuse they did when I was young, including locking me up in a room so I can get better.
They are kind of offish and afraid of me. I know they hate me but they can never say it and they are civil around me. Anytime there is a disagreement, I’ll tell them to get my brother to start supporting them. It’s mostly no argument and they will begrudgingly agree with everything I say even if it’s against what they believe.
Some may say it’s financial abuse. But I am not abusing them. They are always free to leave. I have no obligation to take care of them but that’s what I do. And if they can’t appreciate that, then they can always go to their more favoured child.
Image source: Various-Use-1193
#19
The golden child/scapegoat situation in my family was interesting. I had two cousins who were siblings. One had severe ADHD and often acted out. Their older sibling competed in dance competitions internationally and did very well in school, earning scholarships to this top school. Older kid was the priority with the parents investing in their success while the younger kid was constantly asked “why can’t you be more like Perfect Kid?”
Younger sibling struggled in high school but graduated. After graduation, they flourished. Got a construction job and worked up. Meanwhile, the older sibling graduated college and it took them a year to find a job. Having never faced adversity, this took a mental toll on them, especially when they had to ask the younger sibling for help.
All of us in the extended family could see this coming a mile away. And the favoritism even trickled down the cousins. My grandmother knew I’d also had trouble finding a job after college but told me that my cousin was “fragile” about not finding a job, and then ranted about how someone so perfect couldn’t find one. Meanwhile, the kid everyone yelled at all the time had been working continually since age 18 and became a homeowner in his late 20s.
Image source: Murky_Conflict3737
#20
Image source: EmmelineTx, bearfotos
My mother was a narcissist and delusional. She pulled my sister into being the adult of the family by the time she was 12. She had to protect her and listen to all of her crazy stories about how everyone was out to get her. But my sister could do no wrong. She was the perfect golden child of the family. So, she never connected the dots that my mom was seriously mentally ill.
When my mom died, my sister had a nervous breakdown once all of the ongoing stress let off, decided she had lead poisoning from paint and that she was allergic to everything on earth. She got to the point where all she would eat is baby food and had hysterical blindness. She went to 52 different doctors and finally found some quack who charged her over $100,000 for chelation.
My mom had essentially made her a mini-me and she was lost.
#21
Image source: 100percentapplejuice, freeepik
I was the golden child, but not in the way you’d expect.
I was doted on because of my looks, and my mom would pimp me out to TV stations or modeling agencies at a shot to becoming famous and escaping poverty in the Philippines. This went on for YEARS of my childhood. This backfired and I’m now a huge punk/tomboy. My sister resented me for it so she turned to her studies as a way to get my mom’s attention.
And guess what? Now *she’s* the golden child. Good career, great husband, lots of money to shower. I’m living an incredibly simple life, living it on my own terms, and she takes any opportunity she can get to criticize what I do under the guise of me possibly hurting our mom. Did I turn out f****d up? Maybe, yeah. I stay home, smoke w**d, play video games, get tattoos. But I never want to hurt anybody, ever. Funny how me reclaiming my life after years under the microscope still bites me in the a*s.
#22
Image source: Pitiful_Winner2669
He got arrested for beating up a homeless person. Not his first time beating up a homeless person, just first time a cop saw him do it.
He’s a sociopath. But boy is he a good rock climber! And that’s all my parents ever cared about this 40 year old trust fund baby.
#23
Image source: Some_Pilot_7056, Freepik
The golden child is the only one of my mother’s children that is speaking to her regularly. He lives in the same city as her while my other sibling and I are thousands of miles away. As her health starts to decline, golden child will be the only one available to help. He likely won’t move away because he feels like he can’t leave her alone.
I was slated to be her caretaker but that is never happening. Good luck to them!
#24
My dad was guilty of seeing my older sister as the golden child. She was extraverted and outgoing like me dad while I was the quiet introvert. How often I had to hear “why aren’t you more like your sister?”
My dad didn’t give a single f**k about my hobbies either, everything revolved around my sister’s hobbies. I was always the “ugly duckling” of the family, the younger brother who isn’t as successful as his older sister.w She was more career-oriented and has a high paying job and goes on exotic, expensive vacations.
My sister never rubbed it in and is fully aware of this and feels kinda bad about it, but when I announced that I, at 42 years of age, was able to completely pay off the loan to my house thanks to an investment in Bitcoin I made in 2016, all of a sudden, I wasn’t the “unsuccessful ugly duckling” anymore.
I know money and material possessions aren’t the most important thing in life, but to my father apparently, it is kind of a way to measure success. And I beat everyone at it. By just investing a couple of thousand of euro’s I saved by just not going on vacation but simply staying home in 2016.
Image source: OldPyjama
#25
Golden child in my family wasn’t a sibling but rather a cousin.
Cousin is 3-4 years older than me. His parents werent great role models for various reasons, so he was in and out of foster care, etc. My parents tried to adopt him, blah blah blah.
When I was 16, his parents dropped him at our door to live with us for several months. While he was with us, he could do no wrong. He would verbally and physically a*****t me, he was on all kinds of d***s, so on so forth.
He never got a high school degree, etc. His entire life, he has blamed his childhood or everyone around him for everything wrong.
Most of my extended family has cut him completely off, except for my dad. Most of us will refuse to go to any family event he is invited to, because he’s violent, angry, and d**g-addled. He has tried to end my life.
Last I heard, he was in prison and got himself viciously attacked to the point of hospitalization because he couldn’t shut his d**n mouth.
Image source: ashestorosesxx
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