30 Things Normal To Women That Men Can’t Wrap Their Heads Around

It’s been three decades since the release of the bestselling book ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus,’ yet the ongoing debate about the differences between men and women persists. When it comes to perceiving disparities in how people express emotions, succeed in the workplace, and approach parenting, most women attribute these differences to societal expectations, while men often attribute them to biology.

#1 Going to the doctor for a legitimate problem only to be treated as dramatic/lying/attention-seeking/depressed/overweight and then outright dismissed because you are female. And not getting the help you need.

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#2 Professionally speaking – getting dismissed, ignored or overlooked (usually in favor of a man).

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I work in IT and was trying to set up a new phone system. My boss (a male) put me in charge of it because I had just done something similar at my previous job. Anyways, I kept telling him that my contact at the company we were switching to kept ignoring me and basically calling my questions stupid when he *would* answer me. My boss heard me, but didn’t fully understand what the issue was…until he actually saw it happen. I sent an email asking a question, and it was ignored – he sent an email asking the same question and received an immediate answer. My boss’ jaw just dropped. He immediately apologized to me and said that while he knew it happened, he’d never actually seen it done before. He was mortified and actually sent an email to that contact at the phone company saying, “when she asks a question, she better get the same attention and response that you would give me”.

Until that moment he thought it was something that only happened in theory. It actually blew his mind that it was real.

#3 I think a lot of men would be surprised at how their guy friends act when they’re alone with a woman. How they pressure, whine, beg, and wheedle for sex. How many of them try to stick it in without a condom. How many of them care so little about a woman’s pleasure that they’re bad in bed and women have to pretend to be okay with it to get it over with and avoid a fight or a tantrum or a sulk

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#4 How busy our mind stays. I feel like most of my friends agree. You’re always in fight or flight when you’re out and about, especially at night. I’ve tried to explain to my boyfriend how nice it is to just turn off my brain with him. I still don’t think he fully understands what I mean.

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#5 Nonexistent or useless pockets in clothes.

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#6 Constantly being asked if you’re pregnant before every little bit of medical care (often multiple times in one visit, if you’re in the hospital, just to be safe). And before getting a treatment that’s definitely unsafe during pregnancy (like an x-ray or a medication) even your ‘no’ answer isn’t good enough. I haven’t had a uterus for 21 years. Doesn’t matter, I’m still getting a pregnancy test because patients lie.

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#7 Loss of bodily autonomy by government action.

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#8 That straight men begin making disgusting comments about young girls’ bodies or saying sexually inappropriate things to young girls starting at a very early age, like in grade school.  These casual predators are everywhere, but somehow, no men know anyone who would ever do anything like that. .

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#9 Recently a guy friend didn’t get why I got my ID out of my wallet and put it in my pocket to go out for a walk. I said I always have my ID on me if I leave my apartment. He didn’t understand why I needed to do that just to go for a walk. So I explained it would make it easier to identify my body. He thought I was being morbid.

Image source: Careful-Nebula9995, Sam Greenhalgh/Flickr (not the actual photo)

#10 A lot of us can’t orgasm without external friction. A penis or toy going in and out means nothing to us, but a vibrator just touched to the outside will do the trick.

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#11 I haven’t seen any comments discussing specifically this, so maybe it’s not that normal/universal an experience but; just how radically menstruation can f**k up your mental. Like, your brain can go down to some really dark places and you are 100% convinced that all of those things you’re thinking are real, valid, true, your new normal- but then your period starts, and it’s like ‘o haha nvm it was just my period actually.’.

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#12 How you’re constantly underestimated.

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Had a partner where he thought being a woman is so much easier because he said “women get a lot of help” and I had to explain that most of the time it’s because women are being underestimated even if you’re good at what you do. Most of the time, men help because they either want something from you or just want to feel smart. It gets tiring sometimes…

#13 Feeling a fart roll up your vulva in the front.

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#14 Discharge can bleach underwear. Not stain, actually remove color.

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#15 I can’t believe nobody said this, but birthing. I tried imagining a human growing in my belly. Feeling the baby move around and your body changing. Then the thought of knowing that you have to extract this human from your body. It was terrifying. I salute you!

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#16 Cuddling / physical affection from our platonic friends. Some of the men in my therepy group are so touch starved and it makes me sad that they can only get that from a romantic partner. I have easily 10 friends who if I really needed a hug would drop everything to come hold me

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#17 You are standing in a busy bar and someone wants to pass you.

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If you are a guy: „hey excuse me”, little tap on the shoulder, friendly smile and request to move

If you are a girl: someone puts their hands on your waist and tries to move your body away.

#18 Women and their girlfriends having to track each other on apps after nights out/gym/almost any f*****g activity in public just to make sure they all get home okay.

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#19 The number of women that have suffered sexual abuse at one point or another in their lives. It is absolutely unbelievable to me, although I know it’s true.

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#20 Friend of mine once said: men have to assess IF there is danger. Women have asses HOW MUCH danger there is. .

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#21 Not being able to be as friendly as you want. I love people, but I’ve had to learn to tone down my natural warmth because a lot of guys take it the wrong way. I wonder if men ever worry about a “good morning!” or a smile being misinterpreted.

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#22 Working a full time job and also doing 90% of the chores and childcare.

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#23 Men can say “I want a baby” “Let’s try for a baby!” and only have to orgasm for that to happen. His partner will then carry the weight of a growing fetus in her uterus, which is painful, scary, uncomfortable, and can have permanent affects on your health and body. Some moms don’t lose the pregnancy weight. Some moms have severe PPD. Some moms’ bodies never fully bounce back. … and way more after baby is born.

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#24 Needing completely different-sized clothes depending on the shop you buy them in. My boyfriend just orders stuff knowing it will fit perfectly every time!

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#25 Walking around acting normal while you’re bleeding, fatigued, cramping and more.

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If someone was experiencing those symptoms as a result of anything else they’d be on sick leave or at least communicating to people how they’re unwell. But nope, suck it up and go about your day like your uterus isn’t trying to murder you.

#26 That women know a lot more about men’s health than men do about women’s health.

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Because men’s health is the *standard*. Most people know the signs of a heart attack *for men* but don’t know that it’s different symptoms for women. Women need a different amount of sleep per night, different amount of calories per day, different healthy BMI levels. But common knowledge is all about MEN’S requirements because that’s what researchers focused on most when a lot of studies first established what we know about health.

Men get to be ignorant about the needs of 50% of the world population because they find it “icky” but women don’t get the same option.

#27 IUDs are inserted without any kind of anesthetic. If you’re lucky, they warn you to take some Advil beforehand. Then they grab your cervix with metal tongs and force it open.

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#28 Realizing men want you sexually when you’re a child. I was about 8 or 9 when my and my friends began to get catcalled, followed, stalked, etc. often by old men. I think most women realize at a very young age that men see you in a sexual light.

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#29 Locking your car immediately when you get in it, before seatbelt or putting the key in.

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#30 How absolutely horrifically painful period cramps can be. Like can’t think straight, vomiting, want to die levels of pain.

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Three Advil and 45 minutes can get many of us back to good as new though. Until 6-8 hours later when it wears off.

ETA: I know this shouldn’t be “normal” but it unfortunately kind of is. I’ve also talked to gynecologists about it and there isn’t much to do besides take birth control, which I don’t like the other side effects of. I also only bleed for four days and it’s a normal to light flow so endometriosis is unlikely.

I’m also pregnant right now and enjoying no periods!

ETA2: I promise I know that endometriosis exists. I’m not looking for advice on my painful periods. I have a gynecologist for this. I appreciate the concern and hope for the best for all the other ladies dealing with this!