30 Things We Thought Were Normal As Kids But Were Actually Super Unsettling

Childhood memories often seem normal until a person grows older and gains perspective. Many experiences that felt like everyday occurrences as kids can later be recognized as deeply distressing. A recent Reddit thread explored this idea when someone asked, “What’s a ‘normal’ childhood experience you later realized was actually traumatic?” Thousands of people shared their personal stories, shedding light on just how common yet unrecognized childhood trauma can be. Here are some of the most eye-opening responses.

#1

Image source: Best_Sherbet2727, Kateryna Hliznitsova / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Being told ‘stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about’—like, oh cool, emotional suppression unlocked at age 5.

#2

Image source: secomano, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

I wasn’t really allowed to complain or express frustration with my experiences because someone in my family had had it worse when they were my age.

#3

Image source: magischeblume, Andrew Neel / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Never receiving any hugs from my parents. Or valuable advice. Not even when I cried/was hurt physically. Comfort was quite absent, too. I only realized few years ago when I saw an 17 year old teenager leaning against his dad and telling him about his struggles about an upcoming big decision.
Never have had that level of support and comfort and it still makes my eyes water when I think about it in weak moments. .

#4

Image source: SeraphRising89, Volodymyr Hryshchenko / unsplash (not the actual photo)

“Talking back”. Turns out they just wanted me to be silent and have no opinion or feelings. My mother and stepfather used to constantly say how I was mouthy and constant talked back- well yeah, how else am I supposed to communicate? Smoke signals?

#5

Image source: Yajahyaya, David Hinkle / unsplash (not the actual photo)

The silent treatment. I still assume that someone is angry when they’re quiet. I’m 70.

#6

Image source: Moosef45, Alexander Grey / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Constantly walking on eggshells to avoid making my dad angry.

#7

Image source: absedy251991, Brooke Cagle / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Getting teased and/or made fun or for liking certain things as a young child.

My older sister often teased me for the tv shows i liked to watch and made fun of my drawings when i created my own pokemon for example.
Same thing in school.

I still remember every single instance in of it in detail. To this day i dont like to share my passions with people and supress strong displays if positive emotions around others.

#8

Image source: awkward_turtle_2121, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Always getting ‘constructive criticism’ instead of praise. Draw a picture? “That looks weird, you should fix the eyes on that.” Make a painting? “You chose weird colors. I wouldn’t have done it like that.” Get a 95% on a school project? “Why didn’t you get 100%?” It created people-pleasing tendencies which led to never feeling like anything I do is ENOUGH. I’m grown and married to a man who thinks sunshine radiates from my pores, but still feel often that my best isn’t great.

#9

Being told to eat everything on my plate, regardless of whether I was still hungry or not. I now have no idea when I’m full unless I’m over full.

Image source: screamingintothedark

#10

Image source: bekisuki, Brooke Cagle / unsplash (not the actual photo)

My uncle tickling me until I cried.

#11

Image source: Charming_Caramel_303, Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Being made fun of when you go to parent with an uncomfortable situation. I was at a sleepover and another girl wanted to “play house” by laying on top of me. I was so uncomfortable I wanted to go home and afterwards my mom made fun of me for it. Guess who never went to their mom with feelings again.

#12

Image source: alreadynaptime, Ben White / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Being a parent’s therapist. You shouldn’t be talking someone out of s*****e when you’re 12.

#13

Image source: StraightTale9857, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Waiting for my dad to be in a good mood to ask him something.

#14

Image source: ctortan, Thomas Park / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Thinking that I’m inherently a mean, evil, broken person at age like….8 or 9.

When I watched inside out 2 it honestly shocked me that Riley thought she was inherently a good person lol.

#15

Image source: Jackattack111888, Vitolda Klein / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Every time I had knee pain and told my mom I wanted to go to the doctor I always got “you think that’s bad? You wanna hear about all of my problems?!”

That was until my cartridge broke off and it was floating around under my skin by the time I was in high school.

#16

Image source: Altoid_Addict, Siavash Ghanbari / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Avoiding my dad when I could tell that he was angry.

#17

Image source: Neither-Attention940, Hermes Rivera / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Being ‘spanked’ with a leather belt doubled over.

I had broke yard sticks and wooden spoons so.. they ‘had’ to find something g else.

I don’t even remember what I did wrong?!… I know I was a ‘bad kid’ but I honestly don’t remember doing bad things. 🤷🏻‍♀️.

#18

Image source: ellieellieoxenfree, ManuelTheLensman / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Having my hair chopped off because I wasn’t taking care of it to my mother’s standards.

I was 6, and had very long, very curly hair. Of course I struggled to take care of it!

#19

Image source: ProperDustySombrero, Victor Clime / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Pretty much my entire childhood, it wasn’t normal to be at the pub till close on a school night with the local alcoholics helping me with my homework,
It wasn’t normal to be kicked out of the pub and be taking to the complete strangers house so it they could carry on drinking.
It wasn’t normal to beg your mum while crying to turn the music down so you could get some sleep.
It wasnt normal for the kids at school to push you down the stairs or follow you home throwing rocks and rubbish at you.
That most kids didn’t get themselves up for school, skipping breakfast cuz you couldn’t reach the cereal, then carefully pick your way past the needles, glass and human s**t to get out of the estate so you could get there.

#20

Image source: Striking-Kiwi-417, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Being told we have no where to live at the end of the month. Everything being hand-me-downs and smelling like other people, you never feel settled, like you’re in a strangers house, bed and clothes.

Poverty, real poverty in general. Don’t have kids if you can’t afford a great life for them.

#21

Being told to suck it up, boys don’t complain when they get hurt or sick.

Image source: Azari18

#22

Unintentionally traumatic: “They’re just bullying you because they’re jealous of how smart/pretty you are!”

Oh cool, make me feel ashamed of my positive traits AND it’s my fault for getting bullied for existing. Win-win!

Image source: HolidayInLordran

#23

Image source: NearlyZeroBeams, Annie Spratt / unsplash (not the actual photo)

My mom yelling at me when I was hurt or sick instead of being nurturing. She has bad anxiety and doesn’t handle stressful situations well. This has lead me to crave a ton of sympathy/attention when I’m sick as an adult.

#24

Image source: im_dylan_it, Kateryna Hliznitsova / unsplash (not the actual photo)

My mom would go into these insane cleaning frenzies where you got yelled at if you didn’t suddenly start cleaning along with her. As soon as you heard the vacuum, you knew she was gonna be in a terrible mood. Day ruined for sure.

Whenever my partner vacuums, I get really upset no matter how many times she tells me she’s not mad.

#25

Image source: Oddish_Femboy, Josue Michel / unsplash (not the actual photo)

So apparently obsessively praying to not go to hell is a disorder.

#26

Being told we (mom dad and I)can’t leave my uncle’s house when we were about to leave from a family dinner until I gave my uncle a kiss on the cheek.

Image source: heathen16

#27

Image source: GlitteringLook3033, Getty Images / unsplash (not the actual photo)

I wouldn’t say I’m traumatized from it, but I realized I’m a people pleaser because my father never showed me that he was proud of me when I was younger. His attitude towards my achievements would lead me to believe they were expectations more than things to be proud of.

It was an internal conflict I struggled with throughout my teen years and into my early 20’s, but I’m glad to say I’ve been working on it since recognizing the root cause of my people pleasing.

#28

Image source: peteetchou, Andrej Lišakov / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Being told that a boy trying to kiss/touch me in school & making me very uncomfortable/scared was just because he had a crush on me.

#29

Anytime I brought up something my mom did that I didn’t like or was uncomfortable with I was told that never happened. In fact she still does it. It’s really messed with my memory because now I have a hard time remembering what actually happened and what I was told happened and what I was told didn’t happen. They are all sorta mixed up in there.

Image source: Dobbys_Other_Sock

#30

Having emotionally volitile parents does a ton of damage. When kids can’t predict the moods of their parents it leads to heightened threat scanning behaviour and people pleasing. These tendencies cause tons of self esteem and burnout issues later in adulthood.

Parents, from a therapist, I beg you to be more emotionally consistent with your kids. And stop being children yourselves about this stuff. Ive had grown a*s adults in my room jealous of and angry at their own children because the kids take attention away from them with their partner. It’s a mess. And have some boundaries. Your kids are not your therapist.

Image source: CombustiblSquid