25 Clumsy Things That Movies Hype As Amazing

Baywatch led me to believe that running on the beach was akin to art in motion. But the reality is that beach sprints are usually rather an easy way to look like a gangly, uncoordinated debacle. Your footing can be rather unreliable in the shifting sand, meanwhile, grains of sand splash up everywhere, creating unwanted feelings of friction in awkward spaces, and your hair is usually annoyingly stuck in your mouth rather than whipping lazily around your face, hopefully creating a facade of poignant buoyancy. 

#1

Image source: Halloween_Cake, anonymous

New York City apartments.

#2

Image source: dreamsandalleyways, Tima Miroshnichenko

Getting out of a pool.

#3

Image source: anon, netflix

Being autistic. We aren’t all math geniuses destined for greatness, some of us are just lonely.

#4

Image source: Denster1, netflix

Computer hacking.

#5

Image source: daidougei, Ann Jesudas

S*x on a sandy beach.

#6

Image source: dedokta, Pixabay

Standing under a waterfall. It looks like a gentle shower, but in reality it’s like thousands of tiny rocks pelting you from a great height.

#7

Image source: x_lashes, Yunus Tuğ

Owning an artisan bakery / coffee shop.

#8

Image source: TomIndev, sonypictures

Almost all movie fights where every enemy just waits his turn.

#9

Image source: Ken-Eckert, Miramax Films

Maybe I’m not the one to say, but… fighting? I’ve always liked the brawl scene between Hugh Grant and Colin Firth in Bridget Jones’s Diary, because they do fight like middle-aged white-collar workers—apparently they didn’t choreograph the scene, because they wanted to fight badly. At the climax of the fight, they smash through a restaurant’s front window, and instead of getting up and dusting themselves off and making a snappy Bruce Willis comeback, they wince and groan in pain—because, y’know, broken glass hurts.

I’m not writing this because I’ve been in such fights or want to, but because in the few fights I have seen in my life, they were short and graceless and un-fun and didn’t look like The Matrix at all.

Nightclubs. In movies, you can have extended conversations with girls as you dance with them, or call to them from across the floor, or interact with others. In real nightclubs, on the dance floor the music is the volume of a revved jet engine and no one can hear anything you say unless you screech it in monosyllables three times directly into their ear. If you’re a great dancer, in real nightclubs everyone does not move to the edge to cheer you and your partner on. Nightclubs are always “packed with good looking girls” in movies and on nights when you are not there, never when you are. Real nightclubs suck.

#10

Image source: qw46z, Talha Aytan

Car parking. There is always a free spot just out the front of the building.

#11

Image source: GrandmotherSafehaven, topgear

Jumping out of moving vehicles.

#12

Image source: Moar_Wattz, Myko Makhlai

That jumping around a corner while shooting at stuff.

You’ll hit nothing and land on your a*s making a vulnerable target.

#13

Image source: KoiFosh12, Amrit Sangar

Dangerous driving on the highway or road in general. HOW HAVE YOU NOT HIT SOMEONE YET.

#14

Image source: 1980pzx, Getty Images

Holding your breath while swimming under water a stupid amount of time.

#15

Image source: andersonenvy, Josh Hild

Running from the cops.

#16

Image source: Chaitanya-Kumar-82, Disney

Costumes that chacaters wear, they look really cool in movies and if you wear the samething outside it’s lame.

#17

Image source: forman98, Dino Reichmuth

Driving long distances. There are very few unexpected shenanigans to get into on a long drive.

#18

Image source: mastabeats, Columbia Pictures

Bartending….

we don’t just pop open beers and magically make cosmos appear instantly. in reality I’ve probably also got nance complaining about ‘the other girl’ who made her drink, or me still waiting for my manager to apply this d**n coupon.

#19

Image source: CharmingMuses, Paramount Pictures

Stake outs. Tried it once. So boring.

#20

Image source: WorldNetizenZero, Matthew Hintz

Combat/military exercise.

You rarely see the bruises, dirt scratches, blisters or shaking muscles. And more importantly the things you can only feel: pain, thirst, fatique, ears being exposed to loud sounds, the whole mind set going nuts from these. People will make dumb decisions because their minds are so overdriven and fatigued.

When you’re dragging a machine gun made out of steel, across a wet swamp, at 2.30 AM, been up for >24hrs, feeling cold and being in “auto-drive” mode carrying 30+ kg of equipment… It isn’t cool at all, it’s total BS.

Disclaimer: haven’t been in combat, so haven’t had the actual fear of death on top of all these things.

#21

Image source: CatherineTheOkay, Jean van der Meulen

Inside. No one’s house or apartment looks that shiny and clean or rich. They’re job could be selling aluminum cans and their home will look like an architectual magazine.

#22

Image source: anon, Ron Lach

Love triangles.

#23

Image source: echo6golf, netflix

Food fights.

#24

Image source: ptitplouf, Raven Domingo

CPR. You can’t wake someone up with a CPR. Even with a Cpr machine. Only the hospital can wake you up with adrenalin and stuffs. And the chances that you wake up (if you wake up) with no brain damage are very very slim.

Edit : so, I should have predicted that, but now everyone is sending me stories of people woken up by cpr. Obviously there are exeptions. I was just trying to point out that you can’t expect someone to wake up from a cpr like they do in movies.

#25

Image source: Ryan-Phillips-103, Isgender Salimov

Standing in the rain. In real life, you’d likely get pneumonia getting cold and wet like that, not to mention the raindrops down the back of your neck
Standing near an explosion. Oh yeah, look at that fireball! Cool, my eardrums have burst and my internal organs are mush! Awesome!
Travelling. As in transit, paying for fares, waiting in queues, walking, etc. Very dull. All of that happens in a blink of an eye in most films. You’d swear going to another country took less than an hour!
Holding onto a ledge with one hand. Happens a lot in films to up the tension, whereas if you’re a scarecrow like me you’d get tired after about five seconds and end up falling with a newly dislocated shoulder
A zombie apocalypse. Would in real life be fairly short-lived thanks to the military, barbed wire fences and enormous trenches
Being the quiet kid. Kids in movies look so interesting and mysterious not saying a word all the time, but when I try it I just look autistic