25 Of The Worst Excuses Men Have Given Their Partners To Avoid Housework

Some people may enjoy doing household chores, Monica from the Friends series comes to mind.  But most people, male or female, would rather avoid it where possible. Which makes it all the more irksome to think that in this day and age, we still need to engage in discussions about household chores not being gender-based anymore. 

#1 I think the winner comes from a man I know (not my partner, thankfully), who said the following about why he never helped cook: “Well, MY time is valuable.” Really cuts to the chase, right?.

Image source: ConcentrateTrue, Hannah Busing

#2 My ex said he didn’t know how to use the washing machine. Also argued that men and women have different vision and men can’t actually see what needs cleaning and that’s why they don’t do it. .

Image source: MaxGoldfinch25, RDNE Stock project

#3

Image source: heeebusheeeebus, cottonbro studio

When arguing about the work that we each put into managing our lives and household, where I was crying about the mental load of laundry, solely shopping for groceries, solely driving around for our errands, dishes, and managing the housekeeper we’d hired because he couldn’t be bothered to do the above regularly, he said “but I feel I’m always working hard to find us fun games to play and movies to watch and I feel you don’t appreciate that”

and he was completely serious

I know sexuality is not a choice because I WISH I were a lesbian.

#4 Him: ‘I just didn’t notice the small details’ this man is a very successful and competent designer and maker of circuit boards………yep.

Image source: BalletWishesBarbie, Blaz Erzetic

#5 I worked today! Paired perfectly with.. It’s my day off!.

Image source: MuffinSongs

#6 Told me he’d let his cleaning lady go as soon as we went official. You know…since he now has me. I laughed in his face for several minutes. Told him to call, apologise profusely and beg for her back. Ended it with him as he wanted a mother not a lover.

Image source: F**kSakez, Liliana Drew

#7 My ex wouldn’t ever start dinner even if I was working late because he needed to check what to cook with me first. He would say ‘If I just start something you won’t be happy because you’re picky’. I believe this was in reference to a point in time about 5 years prior where I was pregnant and declined some meals due to morning sickness. I had reassured him a million times that he could start cooking anything on the meal plan (yes I would even write out a f*****g plan!!). I’d still get the ‘you’re picky’ excuse.

Image source: Adorable-Condition83, Aaron Thomas

#8 “I couldn’t make dinner because I went out with a friend. You wouldn’t understand because I actually have a life” Essentially anything he didn’t want to do I had to do because he had more friends than I did. None of his friends last more than a couple years though.

Image source: Meg-alodonut, Anna Vander Stel

#9 I called out my uncle for never cleaning up after himself while living with me and pointing out how my grandma with cancer and dementia in her 80s was cleaning up after him until she went to hospice and this m’fer ACTUALLY said!!!! “But I thought you and mama liked cleaning and doing things for me?” F*****g no.

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#10 The first Christmas we were living together, his mom was coming to stay with us. He asked what I got her? What?? I hardly know her and she’s made it clear she doesn’t like me very much??? But you’re so good at gift giving!!! Yeah, for people I like!!! Christmas Eve, he’s still thinking I sorted it out, color him shocked when I said no and he had to go out 30min before stores closed to get her something ??.

Image source: LeafsChick

#11 I don’t know but my ex husband took me to court and said that I didn’t give the baby enough baths as a reason he should get full custody(disagreement about baby skin care). When the judge asked him why he didn’t give the baths then he couldn’t understand the question? He was legit confused because he was just the dad and dads don’t do baths.

Image source: toasterchild, Nathan Dumlao

#12 My partner is an amazing woman who would never pull this s**t, but my ex-husband was the king of stupid excuses. Here are some of his greatest hits:

Image source: ifnotmewh0, cottonbro studio

“I can’t do dishes because my ex used to nag me about it and every time I’m doing dishes, I just hear her voice nagging me.”

“I figured you’d want me to sleep since I worked all week.” (After sleeping until 11 AM on a day we were moving.)

“I can’t tell which clothes go to which kid, and that’s why I didn’t fold the laundry and put it away.” (The kids were 6 years old and 6 months old. They didn’t wear the same size.) .

#13 I’ll start this off by saying my husband is a totally equal partner. He cooks, cleans, does laundry, and looks after our child without issue 99.9% of the time. But he bears the brunt of childcare for our daughter during the summer when she’s not in camp because he has many days off during my work week.

Image source: pistil-whip, Paweł L.

He was really burnt out back when she was 4 and tried to tell me in a fit of frustration that childcare is easier for me because women are genetically programmed to be patient with children.

When I tell you I laughed in his face and told him to go f**k himself, I am not exaggerating. He later apologized and remains a great dad and husband dispute this one lapse in sanity.

And don’t think I ever miss an opportunity to (jokingly) tell him he’s genetically programmed to move furniture, carry the shopping bags, mow the lawn, bbq, and maintain our cars.

#14 One time, my ex broke his hand (being a drunken idiot) and used that as an excuse not to do anything. He once looked me directly in the face and said, and I quote, “What do you expect me to do, empty the dishwasher with *one hand?*”.

Image source: pampooveysbacktatt, cottonbro studio

#15 My husband once said (in the early days of our marriage) that he didn’t clean or do laundry or do dishes because he didn’t want to mess with **my** systems.

You can believe my response was swift and brutal – “I only have systems because I’m the only one doing anything!”

Oh and one time he got annoyed with me for suggesting he do a load of laundry – “but you’ve never shown me how to use the washing machine!”
I mean imagine considering yourself a smart man and never once recognising that learning a new task as an adult is your own responsibility… I swear.

Image source: fedupwithallyourc****

#16 “I didn’t do it because I need you to make me a chore chart so I know what I need to do”

Image source: Virtual_Pea_7816, Lisa Fotios

*Makes chore chart*

“I didn’t do it because you didn’t remind me of what was on the chore chart”

GET IN THE BIN YOU ABSOLUTE CHILD

*dw guys this guy is looong gone from my life and I have never known such peace.

#17 My ex. He couldn’t help fold towels because he ‘didn’t know which were medium and which were large’.

Image source: significantmorsel, Karolina Grabowska

He couldn’t do the food shop because he’d ‘get it wrong’ but I also had to time when to ask him, make sure it wasn’t during drinking time, or when he was too hungover, since I didn’t drive. He wouldn’t wait for too long so he’d say I’d have to get the important stuff and could get the rest ‘later’ which is a magical time that never came. And I’d be expected to make meals out what I’d managed to grab in the 20 mins he was ok to be at the shop. I once tried to walk to the shop in 30+ degree heat and a mutual friend drove past me and gave me a lift. He was embarrassed because they asked why he hadn’t taken me.

I could never have leftovers because he’d thought they were for him and dealing with his bad mood over it was worse than letting him eat whatever he wanted. So I’d make the meal, tidy up after it, box up leftovers, and put them in the fridge.

If I ate them, he would tell me he had wanted it. If I didn’t eat it and it went bad, it was my fault I didn’t remind him to eat it. If I had a sandwich and left him the leftovers, he would have wanted the sandwich and I ruined it for him.

It got to the point I didn’t even pick something to watch when he was out. Because I’d have to hear every thought that entered his head about what I watched when he got in and saw it on TV. If it was a movie he hadn’t seen ‘he couldn’t watch it now’ if it was something I alone enjoyed he’d ask why I’d watch such awful things and ask how I could enjoy it while poking fun at it.

When I’d asked him to do a task, it went undone for months, then he was ‘about to do that’ when I did it.

He ‘didn’t see dirt’. Or he didn’t deem it dirty, therefore cleaning wasn’t required. One day he said ‘it needs mopped in here.’ I said ‘are you going to mop?’ He literally laughed in my face.

The week after I left him, he asked me how to work the washing machine because his clothes were stiff.

The week after that I got a text meant to make me feel really sorry for him. He said ‘I’m moving, you’re so much better at packing than I am, I’ll end up with just a spoon and a mug’.

I wrote back ‘at least you can have a cup of tea’. That was the last time I spoke to him.

#18 My ex, after I had our first baby, told me that I can’t expect him to change diapers and look after the baby because he used to have to look after his baby brothers when he was 15. He was 22 when he said this. So basically, he knew how but was tired of doing things like looking after babies even if it’s his own baby.

Image source: muhbackhurt, Nathan Dumlao

Edited to add: his mother said this was a lie. He had a job and school at 15. He changed the occasional diaper.

#19 “But I have to work! I have a job!” I’m legally disabled, and am responsible for all things home and child related. Because he has a job.

Image source: theflyinghillbilly2, Nonsap Visuals

“Well, my dad never changed a diaper, I don’t see why I should!” Yeah, and you been in counseling for not having a good relationship with your dad, but now he’s your role model?.

#20 My friends husband said this a while ago: “if I do it more often, you’re going to start expecting me to do it”.
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?.

Image source: LiquidFantasy96

#21 Someone else’s ex proudly declared he couldn’t even boil an egg. I asked him if it was a mental thing or a physical thing that stopped him. Oooo… touched on his “manliness”. LOL.

Image source: CinnamonBlue, Anton Nazaretian

#22 I used to make nice dinners for my ex and I. When I asked him (multiple times) to help with clean up he just wouldn’t. One particular time that I asked he said “It’s your job to clean the pots and pans because you’re the one who made them dirty.”

Image source: bananapineapplesauce, Martin Lopez

Nevermind that they got dirty cooking a dinner that HE always greedily ate. It took me way too long to finally say, “If you want any part of this dinner that I am about to make, then you’re going to clean this pot and that pan after. Agree now or I’m adding onions.” (He refused to eat anything with onions in it.) It worked briefly. I broke up w/ him not long after that for many reasons too numerous to list here.

#23 I once asked my husband if he wanted to use a project managing/task app to help us keep track of and divvy up chores. I worked in project management so l knew lots of ways to set that up.

Image source: PuzzleheadedLet382, Jonas Leupe

He declined because he “didn’t want to feel like he worked for me.” Because me instead having to actively project manage all our household tasks somehow doesn’t already give him that feeling. ?.

#24 My ex: “You do it better anyway.” Especially with infant/toddler caring things like diapers.

But, wow, did he pipe in if I cooked something the wrong way and he didn’t like it. He’d lecture me on whether or not to put salt in boiling water for pasta. And yet, when I asked him to cook, it was too big of a chore. ‘You’re better at it.’

Good effing riddance.

Image source: One-Armed-Krycek

#25 My spouse told me he didn’t see the dishes piled in the sink after days of them getting piled.  I’d left them to see how long it would take for him to notice and put them in the dishwasher.  He sure did notice after I took a mug off the top and smashed it on the floor right in front of him.  I’m not a violent person but I came very very close to something I’d regret.   My reaction shook him out of his complacency and we’ve not had an issue since.  I do not recommend this course of action in general. .

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