30 People Who Lost Their Jobs Ridiculously Fast

When someone new joins your team you usually expect to give them some time to adjust to their new job. From learning the ropes to learning how to fit into the culture, to learning how to get on with all the individual colleagues, it’s a lot of learning and adjustment on the part of the newbie. 

#1

First day at work, hired by a temp agency. Me and one other guy, we put stuff in boxes and tape them shut, stack boxes on a pallet. He can’t keep up, can barely use a tape gun and decides it’s time for a break. Goes to the lunch room and takes a lunch. It was the boss’s lunch, he stole the guy’s meal his wife prepared for him. The boss man came over 15 mins later and wants to know who ate his BBQ, sticky fingers, and BBQ on his shirt he denies it. I just look at him and the Boss and said well I hope it was good man..

Image source: BigNotGay420, MART PRODUCTION

#2  I used to work at a small business. A new hire made a comment in passing that he didn’t support gay marriage. Somehow he failed to realize that the two women who owned the place were a lesbian couple.

Image source: ThisIsMy2ndA, Pavel Danilyuk

#3 First day at work he took one look at his would-be boss and declared “I won’t work under a woman”. So he was shown the door.

Image source: huiscloslaqueue, Edmond Dantès

#4 I was a police instructor. I was driving down a road to deliver some stuff (mid shift) and I saw headlights in the opposite lane not moving toward me. I slowed down, then noticed it was a marked unit. I stopped next to it and the officer was asleep…in the middle of the road, unit in park, mouth open asleep!

Image source: Chasing_Lisa, Leoohigh

#5 Hitting on the boss’s 13-year-old son.

Image source: ARoaminGnome, Christina Morillo

#6 Restaurant opening. His first day on the job. Smacked a server’s a*s and said “Thanks toots”. I think he maybe lasted 2 hours that day max. I can’t think of anyone else I fired faster than that.

Image source: mistrwzrd, Titouan Henry

#7 I saw a coworker once make a “big boobs” gesture as our boss’ wife walked past….with our boss walking right behind her. He was packing his s**t within 5 minutes.

Image source: BrokkenArrow, Andrea Piacquadio

#7 New vice president of HR was introduced to company on Monday’s morning meeting.

He went to the head of the room, said he was going to tell a little joke to break the ice…and told a racist joke.

Jaws were hitting the floor and dead silence followed.

He said oh I guess you didn’t get it, let me tell it again.

Before he was halfway through the second sentence of the ‘joke’ another VP got up, put his arm around him, and walked him out of the room.

Never seen again.

Image source: JewsEatFruit

#9 Dude sent out a company-wide email at the start of pride month including bible verses about how all gay people need to be murdered.

Image source: ginger_ryn, Andrea Piacquadio

#10 First day at work for this new dude. We pick him up at 07:00AM… He hops into the car and goes : “Ahhhh, Jeez…when are we finishing work today? I’m beat. Can you guys buy me a pack of cigarettes? Oh, and just so you know, I only eat Meat for lunch…” The boss stopped the car, and told him to get out. It was like 07:03…

Image source: TheDogtor–

#11 Within two weeks a new hire was found sleeping in the middle of a fort of inventory he made. They walked him out immediately.

Image source: DoubleShoryuken, cottonbro studio

#12

Manager introduces new co-worker to us and asks one of my colleagues to train him on the machinery we use, which he accepts. 20 minutes in training the new guy picks up a large, metal piece and the trainer shows him the proper way to handle it. The trainer demonstrates by gently grabbing the piece, to which the new guy reacts by violently grabbing the piece away from the trainer then attempted to back-hand smack the trainer… right in front of the manager.

New guy got hauled off faster than an Amazon van driving on same-day shipping, metaphorically. Our manager was really hard on workplace violence.

Image source: WhoTheHeckWasThat

#13 Hired a bunch for temp workers for data entry. Friday a young woman (21+yo to work for this agency) no shows to work, so I call temp agency and they send a replacement at noon.

Monday morning the young woman shows up and tells me that Friday her friends were going to the beach and she thought it was unfair that they had day off while she had to work. So she “Skipped”. That is a real quote, “Skipped” like ditching school.

Told her she was already fired on Friday, to go home.

Then she says her mom dropped her off and she had not ride till 5pm. (In a city, so there was public transport available)

Told her “Sorry, in the adult world you have to clean up your own messes. bye.”

Image source: MrRGG, Mizuno K

#14 I did the firing. I was sous chef of a large reception hall, meaning serving food to hundreds and hundreds of guests.

One party had a big seafood display. Shrimp, oysters, crab legs & vodka, all in a giant decorative box of ice.

When that portion of dinner service was finished, two new waiters were tasked with returning the big ice box + leftovers to the kitchen and dish pit.

**They dumped the ice back into the ice machine.**

The contaminated ice. It even had some discarded shells.

I saw it happen. I had to show them the door immediately and have a serious talk with their head waiter. They lasted 2 hours, tops.

Those idiots could’ve killed someone.
Imagine you have a severe shellfish allergy and the ice in your glass of water is lethal.

Image source: GhettoSauce

#15 Working security at a concert venue. Coworker confiscated a mini bottle of Fireball that someone snuck in, and then he drank it in front of everyone. Instantly went from confiscation (part of the job) to stealing and also drinking on the job.

Image source: Red-Dwarf69, Wendy Wei

#16

I am a former medical professional, I was a manager of two buildings. One a nursing home and the other a high security mental facility. Our place was short staffed as they all are and my job duties consisted of wearing many hats. I trained, did narc count, worked the night shift and day shift on top of being a manager. My trainee, we will call her Nancy, was shadowing me about my monster and coffee fueled day (I was 3/4 through a 24 hr shift) and I was explaining the steps to giving someone insulin (she was fresh out of CMA class) so she decided to grab the needle and stab the patient in the neck without even getting the insulin and stared at me and says “So … um like.. like that?”

I was flabbergasted and, I know this is surprising, I fired her.

Image source: LittleDahlia_

#17

I was quality assurance for a place that evaluated operations involving explosives. I was leaving soon, so my replacement was hired (I recommended against his hiring because I’d heard bad things and he seemed shady….. but they hired him anyway).

So on his first day, I was tasked with training him on the job. He was already highly qualified on explosives (more qualified than I was, in fact).

Anyway, as we’re evaluating a couple of guys working on the internals of a live AIM-120 missile. This clown’s CELLPHONE goes off in his pocket. To even get into the bay we were in, you have to walk past about 4 signs that say to leave all electronic devices outside because even tiny amounts of EM emissions can set off the explosives, especially when the covers are removed/dissassembled.

So I wrote up my replacement with a Direct Safety Violation and he didn’t have a job by the time he got back to the office. Quality Assurance’s reputation was in the crapper for months. That idiot could have gotten 5 people killed, including himself.

Image source: trigrhappy

#18

I was training a new manager at a hotel on the midnight shift almost 20 years ago. She’d literally been working with me for 5 minutes when I decided to show her around. Opened a boardroom door and caught our lead bartender plowing a guest on the granite conference table. He was out the lobby door holding his pants up within 90 seconds.

He was immortalized as a legend forever though. ?

Image source: ranger4787

#19 I worked IT in a high school. We hired a new HS tech. He came to shadow me for a few days. I told him don’t f**k with money or kids and you’re golden. Two weeks later he was dating a high school senior. Fired on the spot.

Image source: Brett707, cottonbro studio

#20 Dude’s first day, on a team next to mine gets an assignment, as soon as the lead leaves the area he leans over to another guy and threatens that if he doesn’t do his work for him he’s going to “kick his a*s after work”. I got up to the managers, we walked over and escorted him out. He was there all of 2 hours. On his way out he’s knocking over chairs and screaming that he’ll be “waiting for us in the parking lot”. F****n nuts.

Image source: Marmoticon, cottonbro studio

#21 A colleague let a middle school kid drive the bus. Buh-bye!

Image source: Useful_Exchange3583, Vlada Karpovich

#22

Came out from the back and joined us while we were talking about work related stuff, and he had a beer can in his hand. I immediately stopped talking about what I was talking about before and asked him: “Dude. What the f**k are you doing?” Him: “uh…drinking juice? What does it look like?” My boss: “That’s not a f*****g juice dude, that’s a spiked seltzer. It’s alcohol.” Him: “pfft, ok so?” *Takes another sip* He was 16. He was fired on the spot and had to be dragged out because he was adamant it wasn’t a big deal and threatened to stab me with his pocket knife when I tried taking it from him.

Image source: Supersaiajinblue, Ketut Subiyanto

#23 My first job was in a small grocery store and my boss asked a coworker to do the dishes in the bakery (baking pans, etc). She replied: “I only do my own dishes, somebody else put these here so I’m not doing them. I’m serious. Fire me if you want, I won’t do them.”

Boss says “Okay then, don’t bother finishing your shift, goodbye!”

Image source: Selios2112

#24 Worked at an ISP back in the 90s and had a guy working late shift. Found out quickly he wasn’t answering the phone at all, but just playing video games. He was warned. Next day he walks in to work with a Voodoo2 graphics card to install in his work computer to improve the game playing. Fired before he sat down.

Image source: Beestung, cottonbro studio

#25 Had a supervisor start selling Amway from his office, hinted at favorable treatment for anyone who would buy. Reported him to HR–and when they asked if it was true, he pulled out a catalog and tried to sell them something. Fired on the spot.

Image source: walkingknight, Karolina Grabowska

#26 Had a coworker explain to our supervisor how he found this great loophole for making extra money: if a customer had exact change, he’d just pocket the cash and cancel the order on the register.

Image source: DudebroggieHouser, Andrea Piacquadio

#27 A guy got fired at my bar for shaving his head in the beer cooler. Why? His kids had lice. He even sang a song about how he was high and shaving on the boss man’s time. There’s a video too, you can see the GM staring in wtf shock in the background.

Image source: Island_Maximum, cottonbro studio

#28 I worked at a movie theater as a teenager. Some suits from corporate office were at the theater doing stuff, including a really beautiful young woman in her early- to mid-twenties, who was in the group wearing a short jacket and a knee-length pencil skirt.

We all had radios, and I was taking tickets near where the suits were hanging out talking to my boss when my radio crackled and I hear, “Holy s**t, guys, did you see the a*s on that chick from corporate office?”

She blushed very red, my manager went very pale, and my coworker got very fired.

Image source: Jaevric

#29 I fired a woman who showed up late on the first day, in an inappropriate dress, a customer asked her something simple, she replied “how the f**k am I supposed to know that”. I gave her a payroll check for 3 hours work and sent her out the door. She was a sweet, intelligent woman when I interviewed her, what happened, I don’t know.

Image source: drawnnquarter

#30 He filmed from under the door of the women’s bathroom. I don’t understand how it’s possible to do this.

Image source: Some_Ad_8070, Max Rahubovskiy