25 Of The Funniest Delusional Dating Preferences

When it comes to dating, most of us have checklists. These preferences on what attracts us to another person could vary from physical attributes to personality characteristics. It’s quite normal to have an idea of on what type of person you want to date. 

#1 Having an active social media presence. Multiple people tell me that my choice not to use social media was a huge red flag, but in reality I got rid of my accounts because they were making me miserable. I got rid of my Facebook/Instagram/twitter accounts two years ago, and have been noticeably happier ever since.

Image source: agusgago, Pixabay

#2 Some girl on tiktok was talking about this guy she met who only dated women with lip filler? Because he believed that meant they had money. ????.

Image source: Orangutanfarts, Alexander Krivitskiy

#3 Obese People that refuse to date other obese people while simultaneously claiming that being larger is more sexually appealing.

Image source: blackmobius, Towfiqu barbhuiya

#4 I work with someone who only wants to marry someone from her church. Not her faith – Her physical church of 20 people.

Image source: carolebaskins69, Irina Iriser

#5 I once heard someone insist their date must have the same brand of toothpaste preference. Like, seriously? It’s about compatibility, not dental hygiene uniformity.

Image source: LovelyRosiePetal, Erik Mclean

#6 Not the most ridiculous, but I got a good laugh when my friend said he wanted to set his dating profile to exclude girls with small dogs that can’t breathe well.

Image source: PM_Your_Pretty_Tits, Steshka Willems

#7 I only Date men who like to be covered in dog hair, every day of there life. Because I am always covered in dog hair.

Image source: Girl-in-mind

#8 Only dating people with a specific astrological sign or birthdate.

Image source: PhoenixPotion24, cottonbro studio

#9 I dated a girl who full out admitted that she was dating me (a POC) to look progressive.

Image source: palinsafterbirth, JD Mason

#10 I once heard of a guy who abruptly ended a date because she couldn’t get through a sentence without using the word “like” several times.

>!It was me.!

Image source: DanTreview

#11 I have a roommate who is destined to be single forever.

His preferences and is not open to any changes.

Must be shorter than he is. Blond, Blue or Green Eyes. Virgin (and preferably never been kissed). Slim but not too muscular. enjoys doing household “duties”. Full Time employment with benefits and retirement savings. No drinking alcohol, caffeine or sugary sodas. must have sense of humor and laugh at his jokes. Must want 3 children. Must be financially set and planning for the future.

He is a 46 year old (suspected Virgin) 5’6″ tall, balding, pudgy, evening desk clerk at 2 star hotel, smokes shitons of weed and drinks a 12 pack of light beer daily. Has no hobbies but getting drunk and staring at things. Literally dresses and looks like a person you would not introduce your kids to and no way would you ever leave them with him.

It’s sad that he doesn’t see how sad he is and thinks it’s normal.

Image source: RedditVince

#12 Not dating android users.

Image source: halimdaninja, John Tekeridis

#13 All these “tradcon” dudes want a woman to be a virginal and demure “saving herself for marriage”. HOWEVER, as soon as you start dating them, they immediately want the woman to start putting out.

Image source: miletharil

#14 Specific race, specific piercing, fat a*s, short curly bouncy hair, freckles, must have athletic/fit body, no social media, no Twitch/YouTuber, no guy friends but he can have girls that are friends, I can go on and on. You MUST be okay with hypocritical views/double standards for him.

I’m not making this s**t up. Dude thinking there’s some “build a b***h workshop” out there.

Edit: Thank you to the kind and generous Redditor for awarding me some ?.

Image source: bananafluffie

#15 I heard about someone who refused to date anyone who didn’t have at least ten houseplants.

Image source: bizzonizon, Huy Phan

#16 A woman I knew mentioned she was looking for a man who made “at least $500k/yr” and was also an artist type and not a workaholic. I was like I think those items are in conflict sweet thang.

Image source: mazzystardust216, Mufid Majnun

#17 My friend claims to only want to date Japanese girls, despite not living in Japan or any community with a Japanese population. Furthermore, he has never even met a Japanese girl. His opinion is based solely on watching anime.

Image source: CreepyCrepesaurus, 花見 瀬田

#18 Had a work colleague reject a guy because he had a desktop PC. In hindsight, the dude dodged a bullet.

Image source: SlickWillySillyBilly, Andre Tan

#19 I’ve known a couple of guys who always complained about girls not being interested in short guys, yet would never consider dating someone even slightly taller them them?.

Image source: dracaryhs

#20 Girl I knew only dated guys with trucks, due to masculinity. Straight up said she couldn’t take a guy who drove a woman’s car seriously to do a man’s role in her life. Guy she wound up with was shorter than average, small and scrawny, worked an office job, and was pretty much the opposite of the big burly masculine type, but he drove a truck. I found that so, so odd. I flip cars so what I drive can change on a daily basis, I can’t imagine that being a dealbreaker for someone.

Image source: PhlippinPhil, John De Leon

#21 I met a 49 year old man who outright refused to date any women over the age of 30. He was single, in case you’re wondering.

Image source: lavenderacid, Alexey Makhinko

#22 Dude wanted a Japanese woman who spoke Spanish and cooked Mexican food .

Image source: Several-Assistant-51, Los Muertos Crew

#23 I once made a rule that I would no longer date men who didn’t have some type of window decor. Curtains, blinds, shades, etc. Blankets, sheets, or flags tacked up over a window didn’t count.

I don’t know why I consider this a sign of maturity, I just do. Maybe I was just tired of the frat boy type.

Image source: occasionallystabby

#24 A buddy of mine said he only wanted to date Korean girls. One of our mutual friends at college tried to set him up with her roommate, who was an exchange student from Korea. The next day she asked him if they were gonna see each other again and he said no, she didn’t fit his “standards”.

Turns out the only Korean women he wanted were Kpop idols.

Image source: redkid2000

#25 There’s this one girl I repeatedly see on dating sites so she’s been on there a long time, as have I. Nothing really wrong with her looks wise, but she is in her 30s and she makes it very clear she’s still a virgin.

She wants a guy who is also a virgin, doesn’t watch [adult videos] and won’t even entertain dating any guy that drinks or smokes even sometimes. And on top of that doesn’t want some Mormon or otherwise religious/conservative guy, since she’s not religious/conservative herself.

Like, lady, what planet are you on?

Image source: Dontbeajerkdude