25 Of The Most Absurd Yet True Excuses Students Have Ever Given Their Teachers

Teachers have heard it all—wild excuses for missing homework, outlandish reasons for being late, and bizarre tales explaining why a student didn’t show up to class. Most of the time, these stories are easy to see through. But every once in a while, an excuse so ridiculous comes along that teachers can’t help but doubt it—until they find out it was completely true.

#1

Image source: Lokican, boggy

I was a student teacher and they placed me at one of those special schools for students that have learning disabilities, troubled homes, etc. I had one student who’s dad was driving her to school and another teacher cut him off in the parking lot. He gets out of the car and goes ballistic on that teacher and then pulls out a knife to threaten them.

Poor student had to watch the cops arrest her dad in the school parking lot and then still attend class that day. I left her alone to do whatever the hell she wanted to that day.

#2

That she has problem sending her project because the roof is too slippery for her.

Background: Online education, students need to submit a video project. Student only relies on mobile internet because only the rich affords affortable internet in the Philippines. So she climbs their house to get a good cellular signal. That time it was raining.

She sent a picture as evidence. Made me rethink how my students could submit academic requirements.

Image source: TheGreatItlog

#3

Not a teacher (yet) but when I was in highschool, on a snowy day. I was waiting for the tram. (Like a slower train that goes through the city, public transport basically) I saw the tram coming from around the corner, promptly before it derailed from the track completely.

So being the good student I am, I decided to call the school like, “Hey my name is …. from class ….. and you are not gonna believe what just happened.” So I explained the situation, the school didn’t believe it.

I get tapped on the shoulder by some woman I’ve never met in my life. She asked me what school I went to. I told her. She then asks if she can speak to my school. I’m like “Ehm, sure?

She only said three things, her name, that I was speaking the truth, and to tell the f*****g principal that there better be some hot chocolate waiting for me when I get there and then just hung up.

I’m still completely baffled by the balls it requires to talk to the school like that when she hands me back my phone, smiles, and tells me that she is the executive assistant of the school district supervisor.

Image source: spicybooger

#4

Not me but this reminded me of an incident which made the news a few years ago. A high school boy came into class one morning with red eyes. His teacher immediately began grilling him about weed. The kid insisted that he hadn’t done any d***s, his eyes were red from crying because his father had just died. The teacher didn’t believe him.

It escalated to the point that the teacher kicked him out of class and sent him to the principle. The principle called his mother, who backed him up and said her husband had just passed away. The priciple still told her she would have to drop what she was doing and immediately take her son to an approved d**g testing center and pay for a d**g test, or else he was going to be suspended for showing up to school high.

His mother took him to get tested and sure enough, no weed. His father really had just died and that was his first day back at school. From what I remember his mom ended up suing the school.

Image source: PungoGirl

#5

Image source: anon, freepik

I had a student casually come to me saying she wouldn’t be in class on Thursday just as a “heads up” and started to leave my office. When I inquired why she very calmly and logically told me it was because she was going to [unalive] herself on the way home after she left campus. She had a complete plan of how and where to crash her car as to not injure anyone else. I told her we were going for a walk to our campus counselors. She said she would come. We walked across campus together. She was eerily sweet and talked about uplifting things, which I mirrored. I got her to a counselor that she was willing to talk to and told her if she needed anything I would be there in a heartbeat. Three hours later she knocked on the door of a class I was teaching. When I answered she grabbed me and hugged me. She thanked me for saving her. She was going to get the help she knew she needed at an inpatient clinic.
I was told I wasn’t allowed to reach out to her since she left school but I think about her nearly every day.

#6

Him: “I just mailed my homework to Russia”

Me: You what?
Him: I wrote my old host family in Russia a letter, and I dropped it in the mailbox on the way here, and now that I’m here, I don’t have my homework, but I DO have 3 pages in Russian.

Image source: MamaBearsApron

#7

Image source: Teacher-Journal, frsdfqwe

A kid told me once he peed himself because he was scared of the toilet was going to drown him.

Turns out his brother had been holding his head underwater every time he had an accident.

#8

Image source: TurkeyNinja, stockking

Teaching 7th grade advanced Biology – smart kids in a pretty low income school. I am used to seeing d***s, bad behavior and contraband pretty regularly. So my first instinct is always that the student is doing something wrong.

I glanced around and see a puff of vapor is coming out of a students mouth. Immediately, I ask to have his vape pen and please go to the office. “It’s not a vape Mr.!” I argue with the student, who vehemently believes he doesn’t have a vape pen.

“Well I saw a vape cloud did I not?”

“yes sir.” So he goes to the principals office and I call his mom after school to let her now what happened.

“Oh no Mr., its a misunderstanding. He can hold his breath and somehow create clouds with his mouth. I tell him not to do it, but its like his favorite party trick.”

Why didn’t that little s**t show that to me? That sounds f*****g awesome. I quit my long term sub position before I had that class again, and never did get to see it again….

#9

Image source: Ahtotheahtothenonono, YuliiaKa

Horse ate her homework. Corroborated by her living on a farm and her mom emailing to apologize as well 😁.

#10

Image source: meatfrappe, mestyle.studio3

~10 years ago I had a student say he didn’t do the homework because his car caught fire on his ride home, and his textbook was in the back seat. I was suspicious, but he quickly produced the badly charred textbook, which was also completely waterlogged from when the fire department put out the fire, and asked me if I could issue him a new one.

It’s possible that he burned and soaked his textbook in an effort to getting out of doing the homework. If that was the case, bravo.

#11

Not a teacher. I was in first grade when *Donny* arrived 20 minutes late for school. Loud enough for the whole class to hear, Mrs. P. asked him why he was late. Donny responded, “the purple girl.” The whole class, including Mrs. P. burst out laughing. Mrs. P. in a chuckle responded, “a purple girl???” Donny dead pan responded, “yes, she was laying on the ground and she was purple.” Everyone laughed again, except Mrs. P. She gently took Donny’s hand and they left the room.

Never did find out any details about “the purple girl”, but Mrs. P. didn’t return to class until after lunch and Donny was out for the next two days.

Image source: Tgunner192

#12

Image source: anon, Karolina Grabowska

A student (14) brought alcohol to school. He was the troublemaker type so everyone thought he was consuming alcohol at such a young age, while he was denying vehemently and said that his dad must have put it in his bag unknowingly. Unbelievable, I know. He was sent to the counsellor immediately while his mother was called. She was adamant that her son could never touch alcohol. The principal asked her to keep an eye on the student anyway as teenagers are unpredictable, the student got detention for a week and mandatory counselling session.

Turns out, his dad did put the alcohol in his bag but not unknowingly. His parents were in a process of getting a divorce and the student was living with his mother. That morning his dad picked him up to take him to school and hid a bottle in his bag. From what we’ve heard, his dad is an alcoholic and real a***ive and his mum was getting divorce on grounds of domestic violence. The dad was facing the possibility of jail time so he tried to build a case against the mum by showing that she is manipulative and controls people around her by getting them addicted to d***s and alcohol. Evidence was that she was turning their son into an alcoholic too.

#13

Image source: kajigleta, Chris Karidis

Showed up late to a college final because his neighbor’s apartment was on fire. He smelled like fire smoke so I gave him an extension on the time limit.

#14

Image source: SecondHandSlows, Getty Images

I taught GED prep classes, and I had a student raise their hand and say, “I need to go. Someone is robbing my house.”

The next day I asked her about it and she told me it was her mom. On m**h.

#15

I’m not a teacher but this happened at my apartment. In college, I had a huge exam on a Thursday and the few nights before, I made sure to study like crazy. The day before an exam, I typically go over EVERYTHING and do my notes, work on the study guide, etc. and it stays ingrained in my brain and I do really well the next day on the exam.

The morning of my exam, at 5am, I’m woken up to the frikking SWAT team throwing flash grenades into my patio area, my sliding door is shattered, other members of SWAT are using a battering ram against the gate we all use to enter the complex. I thought I was going to die. I get to the ground, crawl to my bathtub and hide in there crying and shaking.

I left my phone and couldn’t call anyone. I crawled out to see what was going on in my living room and the moment I stand up, I look down and see 14 red dots on my body and 14 rifles pointed at me. I’ve shot guns but NEVER had any pointed at me. I was surprised I didn’t pee myself.

Turns out they actually wanted my neighbor and terrorized me FOR NOTHING. I literally forgot everything I had studied. I told my teacher what happened. She told me to do my best and I fosho failed that exam so hard.

She was kind enough to let me retake the exam.

Image source: iammercedess

#16

Student not teacher I had to tell my teachers the reason I wasn’t in school was because my best friend was in hospital with the doctors saying she might die. Teacher said I was lying, my mum sent teacher a picture of me and my friend. My friend had an IV drip and like those breathing tubes in her nose, I was sitting next to her. Sure as hell believed me then

I was 8, my friend was 7 and she lived.

Image source: queergirl73

#17

Image source: InterNut07, pvproductions

Not a teacher, but my mother had her car broken into.. the only thing they took was my school bag that had all my books in it.. I was told to go explain my story to the principal, he didn’t care. I looked completely crazy trying to explain my story to him when he honestly didn’t care at all. He didn’t care how it was stolen, why, or where.. all he cared about was how I was going to replace about $800 worth of books… I was 11.

#18

Image source: ilikegreencows, EyeEm

“I cant come to class (virtual learning) because my grandma keeps having arguments with the ghosts in the walls.” Its true. She actually screams at the walls regularly while he’s on Zoom for class with me.

#19

Image source: danjouswoodenhand, nikitabuida

Teacher here, but these are two things that happened to my colleague. My stories aren’t that interesting.

Student #1 said he couldn’t do some sort of physical activity because he just had open heart surgery. Teacher didn’t believe him but went along with it, asking questions to get more info. The kid lifted his shirt to show off an angry red wound where they had cut open his chest, still in the process of healing.

Student #2 couldn’t get up and go to the nurse because she was having a miscarriage. She wasn’t visibly pregnant or anything, it was the first day of school so the teacher had no idea if she was legit or just a drama queen. Turns out she was having a miscarriage and proceeded to miscarry right there on the chair. Nurse came and got her, she definitely made an impression that day.

#20

A guy I knew in high school missed class because he had to help a cow give birth. Lived in a farm.

Image source: skysurf51

#21

Not a teacher but dealt with some crazy stuff growing up (some of which I’ve posted).
1) Science book was destroyed courtesy of a church book burning. Still can’t watch Fahrenheit 451 to this day (major anxiety attack). School knew it had happened and I was given a replacement no questions asked.
2) Mugged, badly. Just got out of hospital. Was accused of making it up and ordered to take my sunglasses off, that covered two black eyes and major bruising. I was then ordered to put them back on. I blew off PE because I didn’t want to tear the stiches from my knife wounds.
2) Escorted out of house by CPS. No clothes, books, etc. Was the Sunday before school, and was my 17th birthday. Kind of hard to do homework in that situation. I’d say it was half/half. Some teachers understood and let me work in class, even gave me loaner books. Some didn’t care. Main reason my grades tanked from A’s to D’s overnight.

Image source: Patches765

#22

Image source: salty_sunshine, freepik

A student, tween-aged, needed to go to court to give a character reference for her father. He was trying to adopt his deceased girlfriend’s children after she died in a tragic accident. The student couldn’t stand the kids her dad was adopting, but she knew it was the right thing. That was the first turned out to be true story.

Fast forward to online quarantine school and the same student tells me they no longer have any books because one of her adopted siblings hid them in a vindictive emotional state while at dad’s house. I’m friends with the student’s mom (dad’s ex-wife) and I didn’t believe it until the mom confirms this. I then told the student I would send digital images of anything they needed. Once the books were finally found 3 weeks later, I made a deal with them to leave them 100% of the time at their mom’s and for them to ask me for digital versions whenever the student was at dad’s house.

The kid has had a very hard life, but I already know they will be someone amazing as an adult!

#23

I taught a non-credit ESL class for adults. I had a very polite young man from an African country in my class who would sometimes be absent for 2-3 days in a row. It wasn’t a huge deal because our class only had one pretty basic exam at the end of the course. When I asked him why he had missed class (out of concern—sometimes I had students with major family problems or illnesses or whatever), he would just say vaguely, “I had to go out of town.”

One night I went to a game of my local pro indoor soccer team, and there was my student, announced as part of the starting lineup! He was “out of town” because of the away games.

Image source: anon

24

When I was in grad school, I lived in the heart of tornado alley. I was doing a timed online final for one class and had just finished a huge paper for my other class. I’m typing away, stressed, and my phone rings. It’s my mom, telling me there’s nasty weather coming. I blow her off and get back to work. Suddenly, it gets dark and I hear tornado sirens. I grab my dog, my shoes, my keys, and drive like hell to get to a friend’s house – she had a shelter. We ride out about four hours of storms and I head home. My house had quite a bit of damage and all of my electronics were completely fried…including my computer.

The next day, I finally reach my professors. Both were shocked but were able to verify what happened and gave me extensions. Still, one laughed and said he’d never heard the excuse “The tornado ate my homework!”.

Image source: The_Curvy_Unicorn

#25

Image source: montorpedo227, eugeneshemyakin9

We had a girl at my High School . She missed a week of school because her brother murdered her whole family kept her alive . We had to act like everything was completely normal when she came back. I told her I’d keep her in my prayers even though I barely knew her at the time. She went to spend the weekend with her brother her sister and her Stepdad and her brother [unalived] the entire family.