25 Ways Men Prove They Are Secure In Their Masculinity
Over time the concept of masculinity has undergone many changes. The expectations people have of guys who are secure in their manliness have also evolved to reflect the changing ideas of society. Recently, a Reddit user attempted to gather an understanding of people’s current opinions on the subject by asking, “What’s a good sign a dude is secure in his masculinity?” Folks responded with the green flags of non-toxic behaviours that subtly indicate that a guy knows he’s a real man and we’ve shared the best answers in the gallery below.
#1 My dad was a stay-at-home father and worked part-time nights and weekends. Completely against traditional norms in the 90s-2000s (especially in the south).
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I remember growing up, kids would say that my dad was really my ‘mom’ and would poke fun at him taking on that role.
But he knew my mom loved her career, and his career was long long hours so something had to give. And he sacrificed his career.
To me there’s nothing more masculine than putting your partner and family first, regardless of what is traditional or what others think.
#2 He doesn’t need everything to be a competition, especially with women. He’s just fine with women who are smarter than he is and who make more money, and he’s perfectly happy to listen to them without needing to try to talk over them to preserve his ego.
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#3 I’ll use my dad as an example.
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He pursues his interests no matter what they may be.
My dad was a butcher and a car mechanic. He trained in the armed forces.
He also learned to sew, embroider, cook, bake, style hair, garden and emboss leather.
He could fix a broken sink, tune up the car, do the laundry, iron his shirts, make the bed change the baby’s diaper, bake a cake and cook dinner.
No one ever questioned his manliness, though that might because he could also tear your arm off and beat senseless you with it.
#4 He’s not afraid to express his feelings, whether it’s joy, sadness, or fear. He knows that being vulnerable doesn’t diminish his strength.
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#5 A middle school teacher told me “only a boy cares about being called a man. A man doesn’t care what he is called.”.
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#6 I’m planning on being a stay-at-home Dad. It just makes sense when my partner earns more than me and is career-driven.
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Some of my mates were giving me sh*t that I’m not a man if I’m not providing for my family. I honestly couldn’t care if that’s what they think.
I imagine a lot of men would jump at the opportunity to be a stay at home Dad.
#7 He doesn’t obsess over it or develop weird rules about what “real” men do. He doesn’t refer to himself as an alpha male. Nothing screams insecurity like a dude desperately trying to convince everyone how masculine he is.
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#8 He’s comfortable helping with household chores. Male relatives s**t on my husband for cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, and (gasp) making my plate at dinner sometimes, but he just ignores them. It’s nice being with a man who understands that it’s everyone’s responsibility to care for the home, not just those with two X chromosomes.
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#9 He can be around people of all sexual orientations and not be up tight or treat others less than.
We love confident masculinity.
Don’t have to prove anything if you know it within.
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#10 He’s friendly to everyone. Doesn’t feel the need to act tough and intimidating.
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#11 My husband and I went to a gay bar for a friend’s birthday. Two different guys came up and gave him little gifts and a flirt. He took it as a compliment. That’s being secure.
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#12 You have to be strong to be a man because it takes great strength to be genuinely kind. The hallmark of a true man is kindness. All manliness springs from kindness. Yes…..even courage.
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#13 Calm and collected. Doesn’t lash out at the slightest of provocation. Doesn’t call himself an “alpha male”. Doesn’t put others down to seem better. Takes responsibility when he f***s up. Humble.
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God do I not miss being a teenager. All of these are basically the opposite of a guy I knew. From what I hear from mutual friends, he hasn’t changed much.
#14 He doesn’t particularly care about other people’s definitions of masculinity.
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#15 He doesn’t take advice about being a man from online forums.
#16 Crying once in awhile. And being a tough guy once in awhile.
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#17 He’ll let his daughter paint his nails.
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#18 Is a true ally to women and minorities. Show politeness and kindness to complete strangers. Acts as equal to others at all things. Treats those in service jobs as humans who are trying their damnedest to get through the day. Ummm…what else. Oh yeah, don’t listen to garbage podcasts from “Alpha male” wannabes, who are so insecure it is embarrassing to listen to.
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#19 That he treats other people with kindness and respect.
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#20 Not being so obsessed with ‘disrespect’. Being able to let it roll off your back when someone slights you, and not having to have a loud confrontation about it.
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That doesn’t mean be a pushover or never stand up for yourself. All I’m saying is, when the drunk guy at the bar stumbles into you, no need to get into a bar fight.
Don’t scream at the jerk who steals your parking spot. Pick your battles—not everything is an affront to your masculinity.
#21 Not having to play tit-for-tat or having to get even for every real or perceived slight. Road ragers, talking specifically to you.
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#22 He’s not afraid to be truly genuinely silly.
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#23 Confidently expressing yourself, wherever you land on the spectrum of masculinity/femininity. That’s peak to me.
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#24 He’ll carry around any and all girly stuff for his SO and/or daughters, in public, without question, and seem genuinely pleased to have the opportunity to help them out by doing so.
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I’ve known dudes that wouldn’t touch a woman’s purse or even shopping bag, not even temporarily to free up her hands for something she needs to do. No one’s going to *seriously* think it’s yours, and to the a-hole who has to joke, “Nice purse!”, you can just reply, “Thanks! I’ll pass the compliment along to my wife! I agree, she’s got excellent taste.”.
#25 He knows how to cook, clean, and perform basic hygiene and does’t consider those basic life skills to be “women’s work.”.
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Got wisdom to pour?