“No Laughing In The House”: 25 People Reveal Their Most Ridiculous Childhood Home Rules

Every family has its quirks, but some childhood rules border on the absurd. When someone on Reddit posed the question, “What’s the weirdest rule you had to follow at your childhood home?”, the community delivered with a treasure trove of bizarre, hilarious, and head-scratching family policies.

#1

Image source: puledrotauren, Alin Surdu / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Not allowed to walk around in socks with no shoes. I got my revenge when I moved into my first when I moved into my first nice apartment alone. They came to visit and I made them take their shoes off at the door.

#2

Image source: LizardPossum, Ivonne Lecou / unsplash (not the actual photo)

We weren’t allowed to say “that’s not fair” because “life isn’t fair.”

To this day I am preoccupied with fairness, equality, justice – to an almost obsessive extent.

Sounds like the beginning of a superhero movie but it’s just crippling f*****g anxiety.

#3

Image source: -wailingjennings, cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)

When I was about 14, I asked my mother (who I was made to live with when I was around 11) to put on a shirt and stop walking around without clothes. My punishment was to immediately remove my shirt and bra when I got home from school and walk around topless. If I covered myself, another week was added. It was her husband’s idea, but she totally…didn’t give a f**k and made me comply.

Not so much “weird” as it is full on SA. Sorry to ruin the vibe.

#4

Image source: anon, Daniel Kraus / unsplash (not the actual photo)

I wasn’t allowed to put sugar in my tea because my mum told me that when you go to prison they don’t let you have sugar, so it will makes prison that much harder.

1) Thanks for having so much faith in me mum.

2) I’m pretty sure you are allowed sugar for your tea in prison.

#5

Image source: anon

I wasn’t allowed to watch mice-centric movies (The Rescuers, American Tail) because my mom said ‘our cat finds them offensive.’

#6

Image source: johndotold, cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo)

Not allowed in the house after school. Change clothes, do your homework on the backporch, then do your chores. After that you could do anything you wanted but couldn’t go in the house until mom called us for supper. After everyone had eaten everything mom had put on our plate, dad would go set and watch TV. He picked the show and no one could speak. We were sent to bed at random times.

We were afraid of dad, his punishment was illegal to say the least. We were never touched for a hug or bedtime thing.

#7

Hyper-Christian parents were very worried about Satanism in the 90s and early 2000s, so no Pokémon, or anything with magic (all my friends played Runescape D&D). Also, no Halloween or anything with monsters.

As a parent now Pokémon is my favorite show to watch with my kid and Halloween is probably my favorite holiday.

Somehow, I haven’t tried to summon the Devil or performed any Satanic rituals.

Image source: Gradual_Growth

#8

Still have to follow this now because I still live at home, even though I’m 21 (rent is insane!!)

I can’t lock my bedroom door or any bathroom doors during the day when I’m in my room or on the toilet. My dad will get pissed off and try to knock the doors down.

It’s flat up abusive imo.

Image source: Sadblackcat666

#9

No naps

Not in the car, the house, if you were sick, ect

My dad couldn’t nap (terrible sleeper) so we couldn’t either

12 hour road trip? No sleeping in the car, and no whining either

Flu? Doesn’t matter

I think the only exception was when one of my migraine medications I was trying made me vomit for hours before I’d fall asleep with my head pressed onto the edge of the bathtub and he’d leave me alone

Basically, if he was awake- you had to be awake

F****n love naps as an adult.

Image source: myfoust

#10

Image source: GroundControl2Major1, Ashford Marx / pexels (not the actual photo)

When my brother and I had a fight, we would be locked in a dog cage in the backyard. If we fought in the car, we would get “bagged” and were forced to wear pillowcases on our heads until we reached our destination. It could be 45 minutes up to 4 hours. We laughed about it telling friends and it only dawned on us how f****d up it was when we realized our friends were not laughing.

#11

Image source: Mammoth-Tea-5495, Antoni Shkraba / pexels (not the actual photo)

Not allowed to take naps when I was a teenager because “I’m too young to be tired” even after I got a job and had to be up at 5am…

#12

Image source: Waste_Coat_4506, Christian Wiediger / unsplash (not the actual photo)

There were false accusations that I was taking too many of the good pieces of food shared with my sibling. For example, the buttery popcorn pieces, the nacho with the most toppings, the chunkiest puppy chow pieces, etc. So I wasn’t allowed to look at the food while we ate it. I had to look straight ahead at the TV and eat without looking.

#13

Image source: allthecrazything, Kelly Sikkema / unsplash (not the actual photo)

We weren’t allowed outside if an adult wasn’t home. Even into high school.

Got off the bus with a group of kids and stood outside chatting with them for a few minutes before going home. Neighbor tattled on me. Grounded for 2 weeks.
Decided okay – if I can’t stay outside for a few minutes, I’ll invite them into the house (since no one said I couldn’t)… yep. Grounded for a month.

No wonder I have problems making friends mom ??‍♀️.

#14

My parents were hoarders. We were not allowed to “mess with their stuff” (ie clean) in any capacity. It was a nightmare to live in. My dad died when I was younger but after my mom died, we had the house and it’s contents condemmed, razed, and sold the land. To this day, mess makes me anxious.

Image source: BagelwithQueefcheese

#15

During the summers when my brother and I were home alone we were only allowed to watch Andy Griffith, Leave it to Beaver, or Barney. We had to write essays everyday detailing what happened in the episodes to prove we watched it. This continued until I was SIXTEEN.

Image source: Creamy_tangeriney

#16

Image source: SuLiaodai, Yaroslav Shuraev / pexels (not the actual photo)

We weren’t allowed to chew gum after 4:30 because we wouldn’t be “getting enough use out of it” before we had dinner at 6:00.

#17

Image source: Anxious-Load4600, Alexander Grey / unsplash (not the actual photo)

I wasn’t allowed to say no. I wasn’t allowed to smile either.

#18

Image source: So_Salty_Shells, Tadeusz Lakota / unsplash (not the actual photo)

No laughing in the house, if you want to laugh go outside.

#19

Image source: Readerofallthings, Annie Spratt / unsplash (not the actual photo)

When I was young my mom made us go to bed at 6pm. I remember the sun being out and hearing kids outside playing. She got married soon after and the guy had a daughter so that rule went away but I really think she just didn’t want to deal with us. We spent all day outside playing when we weren’t at school and wasn’t allowed to come in until she called us in for dinner and then it was baths and bed. I can’t imagine just napping, never checking on my kids and having your young kids roaming the neighborhood all day. I had a friend who lived down the street. Her mom was like my second mom. I remember rollerskating and falling on my knee and scraping it pretty bad and her cleaning and bandaging it because I knew I wasn’t allowed to go home. And on school days we were in after school child care until they closed so then home, dinner, bed.

#20

My dad had severe OCD. He converted our garage to a studio apartment that we were never allowed to enter. He had his own dishes and if we were ever caught using them they became family dishes. Even washing them wasn’t enough they were ruined. He boiled it hell out of everything he put on the BBQ. Chicken, ribs, hamburgers, etc. All boiled first. Lots of cleaning quirks, but I’ll leave it there for now. I could go on for days. I thought alot of these things were just normal stuff until I stayed the night at my first friend house. He went to the cupboard to get me a cup for a drink. I was like “you can just use any cup you want” his mom asked me why I asked. So I told her what my house was like. I remember the look she gave me and from then on she always invited me over for sleepovers. We weren’t abused at all, but she thought our home life was insane.

Image source: Junior_Singer3515

#21

Image source: Delicious_Lie7512, W eibo / unsplash (not the actual photo)

If the fridge door was open. With or without a child kneeling behind it. My dad would body slam it close.

We got a lot of concussions (probably mum didn’t believe in hospital visits until pain was present for 3 days and head injuries were “easy to fake” according to her).

#22

Image source: SilverInteraction768, Kevin Malik / pexels (not the actual photo)

Unless it was for school or I was with one of my parents, my sister and I were never allowed to leave the apartment. We couldn’t have friends over and we couldn’t go to friends’ houses..probably why I’m such a homebody now with anxiety issues around people.

#23

Image source: Formal-Distance-4562, Gabriel Tenan / unsplash (not the actual photo)

I wasn’t allowed to do anything near windows. My mom was convinced that our neighbors were always watching us so I had to crouch down whenever I went by a window.

#24

Image source: AngelicAmazonian321, Curology / unsplash (not the actual photo)

Going to the toilet.

First I had to ask permission then I had to wait until the toilet door was unlocked. My mother would then stand by the open toilet door until I sat down I would then hand her the toilet paper mother would tear off three squares and hand them to me. That’s all I was allowed if I needed more my parents took it as a sign that I was eating and drinking too much.

#25

Image source: iamliterallyinsane, Sarah Chai / pexels (not the actual photo)

No chores.

I’m dead serious.

My mom was so overprotective she wouldn’t let me do any kind of chores. She never let me near appliances or showed me how to do the most basic of housework.

The only thing she told me to do was clean my room, but never showed me how to clean it. So my room was always messy.

Now I’m 25 and had to beg my dad to show me how to use the dishwasher, clothes washer/dryer and oven. I can wash things and make frozen things in the oven. That’s all I can do.

I’m still scared of the stove.

And now I can’t get my mom to show me anything because she’s been dead for 11 years.