25 Childfree People In Their 40s And 50s Share How They Feel

For many, the traditional life path includes settling down and raising a family. But a recent Reddit question posed an intriguing alternative: “People in their 40s and 50s with no children, how does it feel?” The responses painted a fascinating picture of life without kids, with people sharing their joys, regrets, and reflections on how their lives have unfolded. Here’s a look at some of the most insightful responses from those who’ve walked the child-free path.

#1

Image source: Designer-Bid-3155, Artem Beliaikin

F*****g awesome! My life is amazing. Fixed at 26, I’m now 46.

#2

Image source: Festygrrl

I wanted children. But my uterus decided that ejecting them would be a better idea. I sometimes grieve the idea of being a parent. Then I snap back to reality when the reality of my life makes me not fit to be a parent. I am on the disability pension for MS, I am legally blind and cannot drive and have to depend on others to do things for me. I could not provide what I feel is a fulfilling life for a child.

I get to sleep in, I get to love my cats and be the weird aunt to my niblings instead. It is what it is and I am at peace with it.

#3

Image source: SovietShooter, Timur Weber

After numerous miscarriages, we were in our 40s, with no children. We would both do anything to have had children. If we had a kid now, I’d be 68 when they graduated from high school.

#4

I’m happy. I love sleeping in late on Saturday mornings, not driving to tons of kids sporting events, never have to stand on the sidelines in the cold and rain, cheering on kids, driving to kids party after kids party every weekend.

I often hear parents main about preparing school lunches, which is not an issue.

Honestly, as a child I never ever dreamed of being a mother, I never played with dolls, ever. I never envisioned a time where I would have kids. I grew up in a very noisy house with way too many people crammed into a small space. My many siblings quickly had lots of kids as well, I’ve been surrounded by kids and spent a lot of my life looking after other people, cleaning, cooking and being a general dogs body. I just don’t want to do that anymore.

I go on decent holidays, I’m free at the weekends. I love the peace and quiet. I am very happy in my own company and I have a very limited social battery. I don’t believe I would have made a good parent. I do like kids but I feel I’ve sacrificed enough of my life looking after other people and I’m happy as I am. .

Image source: An_Bo_Mhara

#5

Image source: Fuzzy-Zombie1446, cottonbro studio

Hard. I feel like I missed out on the best parts of adulthood… first steps, taking my kid to school, coaching little league, school plays, dinner table conversations, family vacations, helping them when they are hurt, Santa Claus, seeing them grow, arguments and apologies, grandchildren… it just never materialized for me. It’s like i wasn’t worthy of that gift… of even finding a wife to build a family.

Sucks hard many days. I can put on a brave face, but deep down it’s crushing.

M, 48, one sister, who also has no kids.

#6

Having seen my brother and his two small children today… absolutely fine and dandy thank you.

Image source: mronion82

#7

Image source: millijuna

On the one hand, I seriously envy my friends who have two lovely sons who are now in high school.

On the other hand, I’m glad that I’m not my sister and Brother-in-law who have two spawns of Satan who are 4 and 6.

Edit: who would have thought that my top comment ever would be calling my nephews “spawns of satan.” They’re absolutely a high energy handful, and frustrating to deal with right now, but they are good kids, and I love ’em to bits. I just moderate my time with them to save my sanity.

#8

For a while, I was a fence-sitter. It wasn’t until 30 that I realized it was even a *choice* and not an inevitability. In U.S. culture, marriage and children are a common life script. It took time for me to acknowledge that that script isn’t a good fit for me, and it didn’t solidify until my late 30s.

For a while it was money and security, as well as environmental concerns and overpopulation. But it was also simply a lack of real desire to be a parent.

I’ve often wished we could live multiple lives so that we can try all the things, but in this life I don’t really want children. That was hard for me to grapple with in some ways because I was blessed with great parents and my mother was a fantastically caring role model. But, my biggest reason for thinking about parenthood was fear of regret. That’s not enough.

Parents should really *want* their children. This is a whole other human being you’re bringing into this world. They deserve to be wanted and loved and properly cared for. You’re responsible for them, and it might not turn out roses. Parental anxiety doesn’t magically dissipate after 18 years, either. For the rest of your life, you are a parent.

There are also a lot of physical things that can go wrong with pregnancy, especially the pregnant person—which are not talked about enough. Our society holds a very rose-colored glasses view of pregnancy as glowing and natural. It really messes with people’s bodies, not to mention post-partum mental health.

A lot of folks will argue that not having children is selfish. This is puzzling, because those same folks will say in the next breath that having children ensures you won’t die lonely. If you *need* to be a parent because that feels like your destiny and you are full of love, that’s one thing, but if you’re having children to safeguard your own future… now THAT is selfish. Not to mention the resources impact on the planet, etc etc.

If you are unhappy, parenthood won’t fix it.
If you are lonely, parenthood won’t fix it.
If you’re following a life script in a daze, trying to check all the right boxes, take a moment to examine your reasons.
If you want to be a parent, that’s great. Best of love and luck.

It’s possible to live a comfortable life full of love, while doing what you want, while taking time to give back to your community, while staying open and curious and generally living a good life, without adding parenthood into the mix.

Image source: Jendolyn872

#9

Image source: RENOYES, Tatiana Rodriguez

So thankful. I would have been a terrible mother, but I’m an amazing aunt.

#10

Image source: DocSternau, Caleb Oquendo

I wanted to have kids but I couldn’t, so sometimes I’m a bit sad seeing friends and colleagues having children. But it’s nothing I can change so I’m usualy not thinking much about it. And sometimes I’m also a bit glad I don’t have kids seeing how the world goes to s**t and no one seems to care to make the neccessary changes so that their children or grandchildren will still have a liveable world.

#11

Image source: BurlHimself, Nina Uhlikova

I never once had the tingling feeling of wanting to become a parent. I simply don’t have that want/desire/responsibility to raise a child, especially in this timeline we’re living in.

Then I met my wife – who thinks the exact same way.

We both love traveling, backpacking, camping, etc. It’s freeing knowing we can get up in a split second and go.

#12

As a woman, F*****G AMAZING. I had a hysterectomy at 25. I’m 43 now. I never wanted children and I was told maybe you will want one someday. I was never that kind of girl. Never wanted a kid. So glad I had a hysterectomy early so I can enjoy the rest of my life without female pain.

Image source: meldiane81

#13

Image source: formiscontent, MART PRODUCTION

I’m very glad to have been a part of the lives of my brother’s kids but I would have been a terrible parent myself, so it’s all good.

#14

Image source: DickieJohnson, Juan Pablo Serrano

I can’t even take care of myself, let alone have to take care of another living person. So I just do what I want with my life and have a great time doing it. It’s pretty awesome.

#15

As someone who has wanted to have children but has fertility issues, it’s been soul crushing. Yeah I have freedom, but the only thing worse than being disappointed myself is watching my wife struggle. Having and raising kids is all she’s ever wanted and I have been unable to give her that.

Hoping to adopt but it’s an incredibly lonely and vulnerable experience, especially if you aren’t willing to go through a religious agency.

Image source: TheOnlyVertigo

#16

Image source: FairCommon3861, Julia Taubitz

Not by choice, so pretty devastated.

#17

Image source: Personal_Neck5249, Jared Rice

Awesome. One of the best decisions of my entire life .

#18

Image source: Runktar, Ketut Subiyanto

I definitely think it was the right choice for me. Gotta be honest with myself I am a little lazy and selfish and while I think I might have been a decent dad I don’t think I would have been a happy one.

#19

Image source: ShriekingMuppet, MART PRODUCTION

Kinda depressing, I want to be a Dad but I rather let my broken brain diseases die off with me.

#20

Image source: MudLivid6020, Oleksandr P

Definitely no regrets. Having kids is something I never even considered.

#21

I just had three margaritas and am going to take a nap. Do what you will with that information.

Image source: softxdollfacebeauty

#22

Image source: SamURLJackson

I never wanted kids. It was worst nightmare to have them. I did everything I could to avoid them, and I’m very happy to have done so. Now I just need my work to respect my off time and my life will be perfect. I have more spending power than everyone I know, and I can do whatever I like, and whenever I want. You could not pay me enough to have made the other choice.

#23

Can’t believe there are people claiming child-free people don’t care for the state of the only planet we call home. OF COURSE we care. We have nephews, nieces and family that will have kids that we care about deeply. I wasn’t even going to comment because I’m only 34 without kids but you weirdos with your assumptions can be annoying.

Not having kids is amazing for some and sad for others.

Image source: Successful_Parfait_3

#24

Image source: Marcysdad, Hannah Nelson

Pretty great.

My wife turned out to be a narcissistic abuser so I divorced her.
1. No kids that would’ve suffered from her behavior
2. No kids that would’ve suffered through the divorce

I’m more than happy to be the silly, fun uncle to my brother’s kids.

#25

Image source: Thin-Annual4373, JESHOOTS

The freedom!

The sweet, sweet freedom to do what I want (or not do) when I want!