30 Unhinged Things People Have Been Overheard Saying In Public That Raised Some Questions

When in public, no matter how respectful we try to be of other people’s space and privacy there are instances we cannot help but observe what’s going on around us. Especially in close surroundings such as busses, trains, restaurants etc. When people are forced to interact and live their lives in such close spaces, it’s only natural to overhear a conversation for example. 

#1 I overheard someone saying “tell the exorcist I’m on my way”.

Image source: anon, Charlotte May

I turned back to take a pick to who said that . It was a younger lady (40’s maybe) and an elder in her 80’s, and they were sitting behind me on the subway. Then I face front again and hear in a sort of a whisper “mom it’s not an exorcist it’s a therapist.” I couldn’t hold my giggles.

#2 Bloke about sixty in Regents Park to a woman of roughly the same age: “Mum’s gone lesbian and I don’t know what to do.” Circa 1981.

Image source: ukhamlet, Анна Хазова

#3 Was at the store and this lady had a small boy who was looking at the candy. He was about 5-6 years old I guess. He wanted some candy, and she said “you will get some tomorrow”

To which he replied
“Bull****t”.

Image source: Infadel71

#4 I stepped up to the bar to close a tab and was standing next to a couple who I assumed were on a first date. I was only there long enough to hear the guy say “I’m not saying I’d do it. Right? I’m not. I’m just saying that I understand – in the right circumstances, like if you were stuck on an island, for like years – why someone would f**k a sheep…”

If your date said that to you at Cesar’s Killer Margaritas around 2016, I’ve been dying to know how the rest of that conversation went.

Image source: LAX_to_MDW

#5 I’ve had some classes in psychology and worked in mental health. I live near the university in town and was standing in line at a grocery store when I overheard one young man say to the other, “I heard you have s*icidal tendencies”? I was absolutely mortified for 2.5 seconds until the other young man said, “Yeah, I just got their newest CD”.

Image source: moonkittiecat

#6 “Hardest thing being a dom is the guys keep falling in love with you” between two girls talking, late night at a taco stand.

Image source: timebeing

#7 Sitting in an outdoor area of a cafe with some friends, and a couple of girls walk out of the cafe to where we were sitting. One of the girls says “I’ll f**k the next guy that talks to me”. Friend of mine jumped up and said “hey how you doing?” (Ala Joey from Friends).. they’ve been married nearly 10 years.

Image source: Optimal-Talk3663, cottonbro studio

#8 2001, Washington DC, A young couple sitting behind me in a movie theater, waiting to see The Lord of the Rings.

Image source: HalfHeartedFanatic, Tima Miroshnichenko

Woman: Is this, like, a made up thing, or did it really happen?

Man: This is real.

#9 Was on a roadtrip, stopped at In-N-Out for lunch and after ordering I went to use the restroom. I was at the urinal when I heard two little boys (about 5 years old and 8 years old) and their grandpa talking. The older little kid said “I’m sure glad you came on this trip with us Grandpa.” The grandpa said “yeah, I’m f*****g glad too”, and the littler boy responded with “f**k yeah”. I had to try not to laugh.

Image source: OpportunityGold4597

#10 I’m cruising the fruits and veggies section at the grocery store, 2 female produce department employees are stocking the banananas.

Image source: Darth_Ribbious, Maria Pinto

One, likely in training at the time, asks the other “Should the greener ones go at the back?” to which the other replies, “It doesn’t matter, a banana’s a banana, woman!” Right at that moment, a very large man on a motorized scooter with an oxygen tube in his nose comes around the corner and makes it apparent he only heard the last two words of the employees exchange by shouting “What the hell is a ‘banana woman’!?”

I laughed out loud.

#11 While standing in line for the bathroom in a restaurant.

“You don’t always have to poop when you pee, but you always have to pee when you poop.”

So wise.

Image source: duckface_killah

#12 “Every time I dream about fish I end up being pregnant.”

Image source: IAmASolipsist, Andrea Piacquadio

#13 On the London tube, in 2019, a Dutch young lady sat next to me. She was clearly on a “walk of shame”, and on the phone, describing, in some detail, last night’s sexual endeavours. She was obviously assuming no one could understand what she was saying.

Image source: FlyLikeAHedgehog, Ketut Subiyanto

My family was standing close. By the time she was done recounting how she and her date had made love for eight(!) hours, I asked my oldest daughter, who was standing next to me, whether she wanted to sit. In Dutch ?.

#14 Overheard on the phone, “well I’m sure the cat had his reasons, what did the cat therapist say?”

Image source: ungo-stbr, Tranmautritam

#15 At a big jam band show/hippie festival. “Bro, that wasn’t unicorn meat… it was just turkey with glitter!”

Image source: abbie_yoyo, RDNE Stock project

#16 I was in a bar and walked past a table of 30-something women, just as one of them slyly said, “I learned something about Chad’s balls last night.”

That was about four years ago and I still wonder what the deal is with Chad’s balls.

Image source: LocalAndi

#17 I saw these two guys arguing and one of them yells “Ij t vatt ca uallr” (neapolitan lol) that literally means “I’ll beat you up with my ball sack”.

Image source: Sana_Mustdiewoah

#18 Sitting in my car outside a Blockbuster, when Blockbusters were a thing.

Manager, to a dude: “There’s no loitering here, sir.”

Dude: “I’m not loitering, I’m just standing here.”

Manager: “That’s what loitering MEANS, dumb*ss.”

Image source: HalfwaytotheHorizon

#19

Image source: Separate-Life4570, RDNE Stock project

Him “You’re being such a b***h, go eat a snickers!”
Her “I’m alergic to peanuts, you a$$hole!”
Him “I know!!”

Bus stops in my old city almost always seemed to have crazy c**p going on.

#20 We were are a pizza place. Sitting at a table were a little girl, her mother, and her grandmother. Apparently, little girl was learning that “mommy and daddy have real names too” … but she wasn’t getting it.

Image source: hymie0, Marko Tuokko

So grandma asked “what does mommy call daddy?” And the girl just didn’t understand. Then grandma asked “What does daddy call mommy?” And the girl’s face lit up — now she understands! And with a huge smile, she answered that daddy calls mommy “A*****e.”.

#21 I was in target passing the toy section and there was a mid 20s looking woman with her partner. They passed the the hex bugs and she said “oh I remember hex bugs! I used that as my first vibrator as a kid”.

Image source: CptJaxxParrow, mac morrison

#22 My coworker was on her phone during downtime. Became very upset and switched from one call to another.

“He died, mama. No- Mama, he had the dogs. They ate his face.”

Froze the room. When she finally ended the call she turned to us and said “Never do fentanyl.”

Image source: Symnestra

#23 I was at an ice cream shop years ago, and a pair of English tourists were ahead of me, looking so cliche I could hardly stand it. He was skinny, hunched and balding, she was tall, broad shouldered, brash.

They got their cones, and the husband’s was a triple scoop in a waffle cone. His wife looked at it and, sounding like a Monty Python pepperpot (when they’re in drag), said “OOH! It’s a BIG one, Nigel!”

Image source: Swampwolf42

#24 Couple standing at the self-service till in the supermarket. The woman goes to get her purse out of her bag and complains to her boyfriend that the ‘zip on zip’ is broken. He looks puzzled and asks her what a zip on zip is. She stares at him in incomprehension and gestures at the zip on her bag and says ‘The zip on zip! What do you think I mean?’. Both he and most of the queue behind them look at the zip on the bag, trying to work out what it is that makes it a zip on zip. There is nothing special about it. It is just a zip. He stares at it for awhile and then, in the voice of one who knows he is probably about to be yelled at, asks he if she just means the zip. She throws her hands up in the air and storms off, leaving him to pay for the shopping. He turns to the queue with a confused look on his face, like he is questioning his sense of reality. We all give him sympathetic smiles that aim to communicate that we have no bloody clue what she was going on about either.

Image source: J8766557

#25 In a fast food restaurant, teenage identical twin girls were working together and apparently arguing about something. One turns to the other and says “well you’re ugly!”.

Image source: dreadmon1, cottonbro studio

#26 A stressed father and his little son in the morning commute rush. The dad yelled at his son for not walking fast enough, with his back turned to the escalator. The son said “but daaad, it’s going the wrong way”, upon which the dad answered “come on for f**k’s sake, stop messing around”. Then the dad, still with his back facing the escalator, took a step back on it and just like the boy had stated, the stairs went in the opposite direction- consequently causing the dad to faceplant on the ground in front of the escalator. The dad: “Ooooouch! ….. Daddy was wrong, kiddo….”.

Image source: BellinaPhalange

#27 Whilst wandering around a castle ruin in Scotland, there was a group of youths (ages 10 to 15) walking up the steep, stone stairs from the basements. A chubby boy was lagging behind. When another boy chided him to keep up, chubby boy called out:

“I’M TRYING TO PRESERVE ME LEGS!”.

Image source: ansonchappell

#28 Two nerds were sitting near me on the subway, and I heard one say to the other, “I don’t care what anyone says — *never* trust a ninja.”.

Image source: wipeoutpop, cottonbro studio

#29 Girl sitting in front of me during one of my night classes “ omg thanksgiving is on a Thursday AGAIN????”.

Image source: Advantage_Loud

#30 I was at Chick Fil A breaking up with my ex fiancé, when a mom was dragging her kid out of the play area.

Kid: “how did you even see me go in there?!”

Mom: “I have eyes everywhere, baby”

Kid: “…even on your BUTT?!”.

Image source: Coco-Da_Bean