‘Kid Logic’: 30 Funny Beliefs People Had As Kids Because It Made ‘Sense’

When I was little and running around like a hyper bunny, my parents would point the TV remote at me and threaten to ‘switch me off’ to get me to stop. In my limited knowledge, this seemed a scary and totally plausible thing so I would immediately freeze. This worked longer than I want to admit, because according to ‘kid logic’ if the remote could switch off the TV, surely it would work on me too. 

#1 I thought that bands lined up at the radio station waiting their turn to play their song and then went to the back of the line.

Image source: drumorgan, Rene Asmussen

Randi (she/they/he): I thought this too lol

#2 I genuinely thought you could hear the actual ocean anywhere you wanted by listening to a sea shell.

Image source: International-Hat950, Elle Hughes

Mrs. Ginger McSarcasm: I’m guilty of this

#3 I thought putting sticky tape on torn paper would repair it. So like most kids, I was told putting a bandaid on a cut made it better. Which made sense because when you took it off the cut had started healing. Well I figured that sticky tape must do the same thing right? I used to pull tape off of things to check if it was “fixed” yet ??‍♀️

Image source: ShutterBug1988, Kelly Sikkema

#4 I was absolutely certain that if somebody got a 100-plus year prison sentence, they would leave their drying bones in there until the full sentence was completed.

Image source: JiveChicken00, https://www.pexels.com/photo/medical-eyeglasses-and-full-of-blood-vials-on-diaper-4230620/

#5 When I was in Elementary school we all thought we’d die from getting stuck in quicksand one day or by disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle. It was such this weird bubble of fear that was omnipresent. Now? Literally nobody talks about the BT or seems to care about quicksand. My younger nephews didn’t even know what quicksand was and they’re almost 12 lol. Yeah I guess it’s not quite the same thing as the original question posed but man…as an adult…bills are far more terrifying

Image source: Hovertical, JACK REDGATE

#6 As a small child, I was convinced that [jerk] people are [jerks] because of certain bacteria that are unique to them and if I interact with them, I will catch their bacteria and become an [jerk] myself.

Image source: CartanAnnullator, Buro Millennial

Oais Wright: Well, he’s correct in some way. Being around jerks as a kid might infect you with this jerk disease

#7 i thought that every time i played with a toy the person who bought it for me would get money. i used to try and play with all my toys equally so everyone would get the same amount of money.

Image source: robarazzi2, cottonbro studio

Surenu: That is so wholesome lol, I’m going to show that to the person who said kids are cruel

#8 My son asked me that question when he was little. “When you were little, was the world in color?” I was born in 1981.

Image source: TheOldestMillenial1, Rodolfo Clix

Rob: Calvin’s dad had the best answer to this!

#9 Lions are boys and tigers are girls just like dogs are boys and cats are girls. Horses are boys and cows are girls and so on.

Image source: maddasher, Pixabay

PlatinumThe8-BitCat: Technically cows are girls

#10 I thought hamburgers were called hand-burgers. Since you eat them with your hands ???

Image source: SlugGirlDev, Marta Dzedyshko

Mrs. Ginger McSarcasm: Question. Why are they called HAMburgers if they’re traditionally made out of beef?

#11 I thought that when films had a character as both a child and an adult (flashbacks, time lapse, etc.) that it was the same actor filmed years previously. I thought it must take forever to make a film and that’s why they were so expensive.

Image source: snoozy_sioux, Jakayla Toney

#12 i was raised catholic and went to catholic school, and until i was about 10 years old, i thought there were only two religions: catholic and public.

Image source: some-dork, cottonbro studio

#13 Way back in the 70’s I thought my Grandpa had a car that told him where to go, like GPS today. As he was driving a green arrow on the dash would start flashing to the right. He would then turn right. Then another arrow flashed to the left. He would turn left. I was totally blown away.

Image source: Inner-Mousse8856, Alex McCarthy

#14

Image source: SarcastiMel, Karolina Grabowska

That your blood was a finite amount you had throughout your life and obviously that means old people die when they lose too much of their blood.

I was terrified every time I got a cut or scrape, and as a bonus I was/am still clumsy as all hell.

At 6 I got hit by a car. I was lucky that it was a side street and slower moving cars. I crawled to the curb after, noticing my elbows and knees were busted up and bleeding. I was crying and panicking and trying to cover the bleeding with my shirt when my mom arrived (I was just down the street and a watchful neighbor phoned my mother.). I got carried back home where an ambulance was waiting. I got patched up and the lovely EMT gentleman patching me up let me know that people make their own blood, so my “big boo-boos” weren’t as bad as I thought. (BLESS YOU, SIR! Wherever you are now, I thank you. It’s been 30 years and I never forgot his kindness and how he humored a small 6yo girl.)

#15 When I was little I thought gunpoint was a street so whenever I saw the news that someone got robbed at gunpoint. I would think to myself why would people go there if they’re just going to get robbed?

Image source: valtboy23, Kaique Rocha

T’Mar of Vulcan: That’s a quote from a first season episode of “Friends”, “The One with the Ick Factor”.

#16 I thought wearing green during day time gave us extra energy since plants are green and made energy that way. I even wore green clothes every time there was a sports event assuming it made me faster and stronger. Now i realise chlorophyll is different from green dye and its an entirely different concept of biochemistry.

Image source: SuDi10298, RDNE Stock project

#17 My father had me convinced that if I unscrewed my belly button, my bum would fall off…. until I tested the theory.

Image source: samanthasgramma, Tima Miroshnichenko

#18 I thought girls were born from women, and boys were born from men. It made sense at the time.

Image source: gutierra, Laura Garcia

Cora Han: This makes more sense than some of the *stuff* grown adults believe.

#19 When I saw a character die in a movie I thought the actor sacrificed themselves and died in real life for the sake of the film.

Image source: Fun_Ferret5125, RDNE Stock project

Mohsie Supposie: I thought there were two (or more) of each actor. If one died in a movie, then the other one would continue acting, while the first one was sent to the hospital to get fixed, and then return to acting.

#20 My grandparents on one side of the family have a house in our state and a cabin in another that we would spend weekends at growing up. For some reason, when I was really little, I didn’t really get how that worked. Since you can go to Grandma’s house or Grandma’s cabin, I just assumed I had two identical grandmas, and one just lived at each house. To make it worse, I understood that I only had the one grandpa and just assumed he was married to two identical grandmas. My family still mentions this in jest occassionally.

Image source: Kitsune_Wife, Paul Theodor Oja

#21 When I was really young, I used to think people had different accents because the air in their country made their voice that way.

Image source: TheOtherMother91, Mizuno K

#22 I thought there was a huge warehouse-like building, with hundreds of big red buttons lined up with one person at each button. During commercial breaks, whoever pressed theirs fastest got to play their commercial next. Sometimes commercials get cut off by another commercial and I thought that was someone pressing their button before it was time. No idea where I got this idea from

Image source: aBucketOfRats, cottonbro studio

#23 I thought when you got to the age where you had to have a job, you got a letter in the mail that told you what your job was. I was terrified my job would be to sit in the underground room where the streetlights switches were. I didn’t want to watch traffic through the periscope and flip the switch at the wrong time causing an accident.

Image source: Thiscatstinks, John-Mark Smith

Mrs. Ginger McSarcasm: So much wrongs it hilarious. Kids’ minds are interesting

#24 I thought ATMs were just machines that gave you unlimited money lol. I wish :(

Image source: xmephistax, Liliana Drew

#25 My dad had a gay younger brother named Mark, my mother also had a gay younger brother named Mark. When I was 5 years old my dad told me if your name is Mark that means you’re gay…. I didn’t realize he was joking until I was like 14.

Image source: Important-Anybody-74, Polina Tankilevitch

Mark Fuller: I’m gay. And Mark. Damn… is this a conspiracy?

#26 I thought the chalk outlines from crime scenes were residue left by souls leaving the victims’ bodies.

Image source: ABB0TTR0N1X, cottonbro studio

#27 I thought condoms were for boys periods!!

Image source: Debsrugs, cottonbro studio

#28 I thought that Gatorade was made by squeezing the juice out of alligators. It was so disgusting I couldn’t comprehend anyone wanting to drink it.

Image source: Mary_9, Shayna Douglas

Catman (He/Him): I thought Gatorade was alligators pee. I was disgusted whenever my brothers drank any.

#29 I thought if it was raining, it was raining all over the world.

Image source: tsutsu07, Vitaliy Mitrofanenko

Sanjneel: And the moon follows you wherever you go.

#30 I used to believe that in order to get pregnant and have a baby, you had to eat A LOT so that your stomach would get bigger and the food would transform into a small human being?

Image source: a_jill_g, Yan Krukau