20 ‘Dirty Little Secrets’ Shared By Industry Professionals

Every little trade has its insider tricks and hacks. When you work long enough in a certain industry, there are so many little secrets we naturally tend to pick up on about how to beat the system.

#1

Image source: OldBowerstone, Pixabay

Some actors really deserve the roles they get. Some really, really don’t. What’s most disappointing is watching auditions knowing they’re giving the best performance you’ve watched so far but knowing they’re not famous enough to get the role.

#2

Image source: Jayce86, Mister Mister

Absolutely no one, and especially nothing cares about your package when you ship it. Fragile? Hah! Orientation arrows? Pffffft. Even if you managed to somehow get the dozens of human hands that touch you package to care; the conveyor belts don’t give a fuuuuuuuuuck.

The safety of your package is entirely up to how well it’s packaged.

#3

Image source: BayYawnSay, Viyan Manz

I’m a nanny. And no, your child will never say their first word in front of me without you around. Your child will never take their first step without you around. Your child will never hold their bottle by themselves for the first time, crawl, pull themselves up, or achieve any other milestone for their first time when you’re not around. I will only ever say “You should keep an eye out, I think they’re going to …. for the first time soon!” I always do my best to allow parents to experience that First Time on their time (even if it wasn’t actually the first time).

#4

Image source: Mooziechan, Valentin Angel Fernandez

Entry Mercedes vehicles such as the GLB have a Nissan engine.

Edit: I’m referring to the A220, GLA, and GLB.

The downvotes make me think Mercedes owners are hella mad lol. I sold them for many years. I changed industry for a reason.

#5

Image source: feetofire, Presidencia de la República Mexicana

Most oncologists with terminal cancer will forego palliative chemotherapy.

#6

Image source: thewitchmaker, Mike Mozart

you can go to home depot, walk into the break room, grab a spare apron, write your name on it, and walk out with anything you want. staff isn’t notified of new hires. just say you’re taking s**t for curbside pickup. You can probably only do it once per location, but go nuts. also, staff is specifically instructed not to stop shoplifters.

home depot is anti-union and a s****y place to work, so f**k them.

#7

Image source: Amenra7, Josh Sorenson

If your hotel charges a cancellation fee within X days, Don’t call and cancel within X days. Call and change the date to something distant and then cancel shortly after. It’s obviously gaming the policy, but it’s an obviously game-able policy.

#8

Image source: throwawaytrumper, Markus Spiske

The dirt underneath the concrete or asphalt is usually more important than the thickness of the structure topping it, well-prepped subgrade is king if you want to minimize concrete cracking, asphalt flex, and structural movement.

It’s a secret because nobody gives a damn about dirt and no matter how often I explain how our subgrade in an area is f****d I always hear “what if we make the concrete thicker?”.

#9

Image source: MAFIAxMaverick, Anna Shvets

As a social worker, there will NEVER be a time when you “finish” all your work, because the field just doesn’t work like that. So clock out when you go home – don’t do any work. You’ll survive a lot longer in this field and be able to help a lot more people if you, yourself, are taken care of.

#10

Image source: LivingTheBoringLife, Victoria Rain

Nanny here. you have no secrets. Your child tells me everything you do.

If mommy and daddy fought over daddy’s friend, we know.

If daddy sleeps on the couch, we know.

If you have something negative to say about us and you say it in front of your kids, besides being a d**k move on your part, your kid will tell us.

If you’re pregnant and want to wait till you’re further along don’t leave c**p out on the counters or tell your kids because, you guessed it, we know.

#11

Image source: NiceWriting, Rachel Claire

If you ask a Barkeeper to make you a strong drink they’ll say „sure thing“ – and make you a standard one.

Unless you’re a well tipping regular.

#12

Image source: cinemachick, Gavin Anderson

In animated shows in the US, even ones for adults, people riding bikes must always have helmets and people in cars must have seatbelts on if the car is moving. There’s a department called Standards and Practices whose whole job is to prevent “imitatable violence” or other acts that children could imitate and be hurt from. This includes removing things like climbing into a washing machine (Lilo and Stitch on Disney+) or leaving the park with a stranger (early Sesame Street episodes.) Blood is a huge one, as are most body fluids – dogs can pee, but you can’t show urine, and puke has to be a certain color or it won’t pass. Fire is also one for preschool shows, apparently.

#13

Image source: smallz86, cottonbro studio

Politics is a lot less mean on the inside. I’m friends with many other staffers from the other party and most members get along/work together way more than the media wants you to think.

Oh, and if you think offices don’t talk to each other, they do.

#14

Shutting down a nuclear plant is far easier than you think (or the movies have you believe). I know of a dozen ways I can shut down our plant — none of which require access to the control room.

My favorite one was someone closing a 3/8″ valve on the roof of a building, causing a plant trip.

The hard part is keeping a plant running! Everything is so finely balanced that it takes very little to shut it down.

Image source: mks113

#15

Image source: Im_not_a_liar, Andrea Piacquadio

When I fix your car there is no magic plunger to magically suck the dents out. I have to do lots of stuff.

#16

Image source: High_Horse617, Paul Sableman

I no longer work there, but I try to spread this info every time, because it helps the bottom-line.

AutoZone: Return-swaps (when you return an item you previously bought, for a different item) and warranty-swaps (a warranty item is damaged and swapped out for a new one) count as sales.

AutoZone’s warranty policy covers ANY damage *taps a baseball bat against the counter* aside from general use wear and tear. *drops a hammer on the floor* Whoops, how clumsy of me.

All I’m saying is it would be a real shame if your used break pads got snapped in half, by accident. Something about Auto Zone break pads… They’re the same as the ones in every other store, and at the dealership, but they somehow keep coming back snapped in half, just before they’re worn down into the “red zone.” Oh well, gotta honor the warranty.

So would you like a warranty on those break pads, sir or ma’m?

#17

Your mobile telco runs a lot of telemetry on their networks and already knows about the issue you’re experiencing. It’ll get fixed when it’s worthwhile to do so.

Running a call centre and accepting coverage or speed complaints is a PR exercise and regulatory requirement. These complaints never make their way to engineering.

Image source: per08

#18

Image source: LianaTeacher, Mikhail Nilov

One of my funniest secrets as a teacher is using a ‘magic word’ that makes all my students immediately stop making noise and pay attention to me. That word is ‘cookies’! When I say it, everyone instantly freezes and looks at me expecting me to get a tasty snack out of my bag. Of course, I don’t always get cookies, but it helps me keep control in class and make learning more interesting and fun.

#19

Image source: pocrik9, Pixabay

Take a *deeeep* breath before opening the cathouse door, shovel two shovelfuls of lion dung and catpiss-soaked bedding into the wheelbarrow, sprint out the door before you run out of breath, make sure you’re 10 feet away from the door, inhale again, run back in, repeat.

You puke **instantly** if you inhale in there…

source: New zoo intern ??

#20

Image source: insofarincogneato, Krizjohn Rosales

Almost no plastic actually gets recycled. It ends up in landfills after sitting on barges because the market value is s**t.