20 People Who Became Red-Faced Because A Toddler Said Something Inappropriate Around Them

We all do embarrassing things and sometimes blurt out inappropriate stuff accidentally in public. But when a toddler says something weird, it’s not them who get embarrassed, their parents do. Or sometimes the adults around them feel the second-hand embarrassment too.

#1

Image source: Dr_Treebeard

“My two year old had a short-lived habit of saying “See ya, suckers” when we would leave a place.”

#2

Image source: darknite132

““Are those your boobies Mom?”

Loudly. At a church Nativity play ??‍♀️

For all asking, yes, he was right, the question was accompanied by a vigorous patting motion on my chest”

#3

Image source: longmover79

“I was in Costco and my son (who was about 5 at the time) ran up to me, grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the next aisle. “Dad! Dad! Look! Real ninjas!” Whilst pointing at two women in full Burkas.”

#4

Image source: Whitt_tthe_S**tt

“My son was 2 and thought every black man was his dad. He was away for the military a while so when we were at Boston Market he called another random stranger “daddy!!” And ran to him and hugged him. Hahaha the guy actually picked him up and said “I’m not you’re dad but hey buddy!”

I was mortified but couldn’t stop laughing.”

#5

Image source: shovel_bummer

“Disclaimer: this was not my toddler, but a toddler said this to me while I was waiting in the grocery line: “I have a vagina and new party shoes!”

Really, what else do you need?”

#6

Image source: ponchojukebox

“During a private Remembrance Day (Armistice Day) ceremony with veterans, my 3-year-old soiled her diaper. I changed her in a back room and when we came out, it was the moment of silence. She slammed the door and yelled to all the vets, “I just had a BIG poo! And it had PEANUTS in it!””

#7

Image source: anon

“At the grocery store, my daughter, who was 2 at the time, and I were about to pass an African American lady in an aisle. At this point, she had never seen anyone with a darker skin color such as hers. She’s about 2 feet from us. So, she sees her, turns to me and *yells* (while pointing), “look Mom!!! It’s a chocolate lady!!!”. I froze for a sec, said “yes honey, isn’t she beautiful?”. She yells yes, and I practically ran away down the aisle. That poor lady was such a good sport.

BONUS. We met a man with a hook for a hand and she sprinted up to him to ask him if he was Captain Hook. *facepalm*

Luckily, he said yes and pretended to run after her.”

#8

Image source: notmax

“Not me but my midwife.

Pregnant with second child, three year old daughter asks why mummy’s belly is so big. She’s told there’s a baby in there.

She turns to daddy and asks “do you have a baby in there too?” Dad replies gently “No, I’m just fat!”

A few days later in the checkout line and there’s a very large lady behind them in the line.

The little girl asks the lady “Do you have a baby in your tummy like my mummy?”

The lady is kind and just says no she doesn’t, to which the girl responds “oh just fat then?””

#9

Image source: cricket9818

“So my younger brother was 5/6 years old. My dad was coaching my basketball team (was in 7th grade) and my brother came along to hang out at the practice. Now my brother has Asperger’s so of course at that age social awareness is non-existent. There are a few black kids on the team and my brother was learning about Martin Luther King Jr. as it was around the time of the holiday. So his brain is processing.

During the practice my brother is standing under the basket as we’re doing lay up lines. All of a sudden as one of the black kids goes past him my brother goes, “Are you an African-American?” and my friend chuckles and goes “Uh, yeah” and my brother with a completely dead serious face and tone just goes

“I knew it.”

Whole team was rolling on the floor laughing.”

#10

Image source: AngryZen_Ingress

“Not really embarrassing but my son once announced to daycare that I had died. It was a severe shock to them when I picked him up.

Now my niece once announced at a family dinner that she wanted a f**k, loudly. We all turned and looked at this little 3 year old and her mother said she’d work on speech therapy with her as she handed her daughter a FORK.”

#11

Image source: RainingBlood398

“There is a man who lives in our village with no arms, Mr M. His children attended my sons nursery so he has met him many times.

We were in a packed doctors waiting room one day and Mr M came in.

Son, at full volume: Look mummy! There’s Mr M that I told you about. He has no arms! Look! LOOOOK! [Pointing]

At this point the whole waiting room, in true British style, have turned their heads in the opposite direction to Mr M, and are actively trying NOT to look while similarly avoiding eye-contact with me, and the ‘disrespectful small child’ who draws attention to peoples disabilities.

Me: Ah yes, that is Mr M. We see him at school don’t we.

Son: Yeah, he came in to talk to us one day, [oh gosh what is coming next….] he drives his car with his feet! [Please don’t say more…] He is TOTALLY AWESOME!

[massive sigh of relief!] Yeah dude, he really is!”

#12

Image source: Explodo86

“Took my 3 year old to Disneyworld. Of course after about an hour in the park, both I and the offspring have to go to the bathroom. We head off to one of the main bathrooms right next to the castle. I let the boy go first (he performed a nice quick dump complete with the customary “Good Job” from me as we were still reinforcing the potty training mantras…) then I of course sit down and perform my own glorious #2 complete with a nice “squeaky door” fart which had the offspring in hysterics. At this point the child starts saying in a voice that can only be described as booming “GOOD JOB DADDY! YOU’RE THE BEST POOPER I KNOW!”

This of course led to chuckles from the long line of stalls populated by other fathers…The chuckles ended up turning into outright laughter…I was so proud of my pooping abilities.

Well, I’m somewhat shameless, so I clean up and go wash my hands to find that I’m now getting the nods of approval from everyone in the can who heard the interchange. I was the best pooper at disneyworld that day…and internally embarrassed and entertained at the same time.”

#13

Image source: nuggetblaster69

“My youngest sibling is 10+ years my junior, so I grew up with him embarrassing me in public.

The worst was around Christmas one year when we went to Walmart after going to a church service. The service was about the virgin birth and how no other virgin had ever had a baby before. My brother was probably about 4-5 at the time, so while he didn’t know exactly what made someone a virgin, that service taught him virgins couldn’t have babies.

Anyway, we’re in the check out line and behind us is a woman who is obviously pregnant. My brother points to her and says very loudly, “Look, that lady isn’t a virgin”!”

#14

Image source: BadHorse042

“I was in target with my 4 year old boy twins. One has a nervous habit of grabbing his parts. I quietly said to him “let go, hands off dude” and he yells at the top of his lungs “BUT MAMA MY PENIS WONT GO DOWN!” I don’t think I’ve ever left target so fast.”

#15

Image source: laughingcow2012

“My daughter was with me in a crowded dressing room and complimented me on my nice nipples. I could hear laughter from the other stalls.”

#16

Image source: mmartinho94

“Me and my 3 y.o were at my moms house & to get her to leave I told her, cmon we have to go home and take a shower, to make her laugh I said we need a shower because our bums are stinky

Later when we got home in a full elevator, my daughter turns to me and says, ” Mom you need to shower because your bum is stinky”

I was mortified.”

#17

Image source: GaijinSama

“At a fairly nice restaurant my brother was teasing my daughter, and my daughter screamed at him to stop and threatened to call him the N word.

(The N word was nipple)”

#18

Image source: Llamageddon24

“My best friend is gay. He and his partner have lovingly been called “the gays” at our house after a slip up when calling them “the guys” came out as “the gays”, which they thought was funny and began to call themselves that. It caught on after a while. Picking up dinner one night at the grocery store, my daughter asked if they were coming over to eat with us, as they do once or twice a week. My best friend tends to tease my daughter who, at 5, can be sensitive to it. I said no and she replied by loudly exclaiming for all to hear: “Thank God, because I hate the gays!””

#19

Image source: daleksarecoming

“My mom loves to tell this story.

We were at Catholic mass. I was 2-3 years old. They ring the altar bell in mass at some point. They ring it, the church is dead quiet, and I screamed “Telephone!!!””

#20

Image source: VVHYY

“Four year old son was misbehaving in a store, and I told him if he didn’t control himself we were going to leave. He escalated, and I picked him up and carried him through the entire store. He was surprisingly putting up little fight. As we pass the checkout lanes he loudly says “Hey mister, put me down!” I didn’t hesitate, didn’t make eye contact with anyone, just turned beet red and kept marching out the door.”